Construction Work in my Soul and Fraternity among Priests

Scaffolding went up this week so that they can begin repairing the roof, and then begin year-long repair inside the presbytery. Great seeing the work begin!

Dear Friends and Family,

God's repairs and construction work in my soul.... will be particularly intense this next week for I will be making my annual retreat--at Douai Abbey, along with 14 other priests, under the direction of Fr. De Malleray, FSSP. Please pray for me! I will be praying for you.

Were the above scaffolding is full of workers, plus workers busy on the roof, plus workers busy inside the presbytery, all at the same time--each with his particular specialized tool, taking great care to do the work "just right--this would be nothing compared to the work that God is doing every single moment, when we let Him, in our soul. Think of it: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost truly live in our souls every single moment (barring mortal sin)--for God never sleeps. He is always at work with His Divine Wisdom, His Divine Life which is more full and rich than any life, than the work of the greatest craftsman, and He always desires to work on our soul. I wish I could see Him at work... well, hopefully one day in Heaven we'll get to see what He did in our souls.

In the meantime, a retreat is an especially blessed time for Him to work, because we are receptive, because we lay everything else aside to do the "one thing necessary" (Lk 10:42) as He says in the Gospel. Jesus values silence, prayer, retreat time so much that He gives us this astonishing scene in the Gospel. Martha is being quite charitable, moving about the house serving Jesus and the others in the home. Her sister is just sitting at Jesus' feet listening to His teaching. And yet when Martha asks if Mary can pull away to give her a hand, Jesus doesn't say, "sure," or "not right now, but that service is really important and she'll be with you in a while," nor "she can't because what you're doing is important but what she's doing is even more important."

No, Jesus makes the bold statement that Mary sitting there listening to Him is the only one thing that is necessary! Astonishing really. But it gives us an indication of how important silence, prayer, retreat is to Him. And priests have even more need of these things than others because there is much at stake in a priest's soul--not just his own soul but the souls of many, many others. The more his soul is docile to Jesus, the more that Jesus works at it to carve away what should be removed, to build up what is in His image, to make the soul more and more supple to Him, so that He can shine through the priest's soul, then the more other souls will benefit.

Well, I have a long, long way to go... and so am really looking forward to this coming week. The abbey is supposed to be in a beautiful setting out in the country. We will be given two talks a day--focussing on Our Lady and various aspects of the priesthood--have adoration, chanted vespers and compline, etc. Though the week will be in silence, we will be praying for each other and it will be interesting to meet the other priests, before and after the retreat. I know a few of them but the others will likely be new, coming from all over England.

One thing about living in such a pagan country is that the bonds of fraternity among priests tend to be stronger. On that note, this past Tuesday was a "clerical day" for me. I met a priest for lunch--who had been eager to have me come by for a visit, get to see his parish, etc. Among other things I hear about how his vocation developed--how he converted from being an Anglican because of the Real Presence in the Eucharist, etc. It was a very nice time--actually turned out to be about 3 hours. Then I drove back to Lanherne to meet a priest for Confession--so that we could each hear each other's Confessions. I've been blessed to do this weekly. Then, after a bit of time for prayer and work, I headed off to meet a local Anglican vicar and his wife for dinner at their home. Quite a different experience! He's a former policeman and was very welcoming, as was she. I can't say that I seem to have made any progress, unfortunately, on their conversion, but it was very interesting to learn more about the Anglican life of a vicar.

Well, the clock is about to strike and I need to head down to the chapel. I'll write you again after the retreat. Until then oremus pro invicem! (let us pray for each other).

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari

Unexpected Encounter in a Graveyard

The three Kings coming to adore the Child Jesus (one hidden behind an angel), in my chapel.

The King of Kings, whom I just spent some minutes adoring in silence, after returning from the day's apostolate, before writing this blog post.

Dear Friends and Family,

There were many joys this past week: a visit to a young family where I heard Christmas carols played on a coronet and had children showing me their trains and model tractors, as well as asking me to read them a book on St. Thomas Aquinas--quite a nice combination!; the joy of seeing altar boys serve reverently, the joy of seeing parishioners get to know each other more deeply, or hearing that they had joined each other in a home for a time of prayer; the joy of hearing of a 90 year-old man's years of loving care for his wife in her illness, of his joy and faith as he himself prepared for death, of his great love for the rosary; so many joys...

But I'll just pick one to share with you today--well, I suppose it's two actually, but connected to one--I've chosen a simple even that happened a few days ago.

I took a break from work in my office to pray some of the rosary and take a walk to the village graveyard.

It is a peaceful place to pray the rosary, and one that helps you remember to pray for the souls in purgatory. While there I noticed a woman who was placing flowers on some graves, and who then sat down on this bench:

Out of discretion, I didn't take her photo while she was there, but this is her bench.

She greeted me warmly and said, "I think this is the most peaceful place in the world," as she looked out over this view from her bench:

She looked to be about 75, and had a very kind smile. She explained that she took the bus in from Newquay (a town about 30 minutes away regularly), to place flowers on the graves of some people she knew who were buried there. She said she wished she could take more flowers but could only carry so many on the bus. She talked for a while about how important the cemetery was to her, about how the village was still a good, peaceful place, about changes in Newquay, about life... ...We visited for a while and then she had to go, so I walked her part of the way back to where she would meet the bus. And then the following day I visited a 92-year-old lady in the village who only has a few weeks to live...

"I hate Catholics" were some of her first words to me. She first had asked me who I was (after letting me in, in response to my ringing her doorbell). I explained I was the local priest, and knew some of her family who had asked me to come visit. "Don't think you can convert me! If you want to try to convert me I'll show you the door. If you come for a friendly visit, you can sit down at the table here and have some tea and cake." By this point, she had already seated me at her kitchen table and seemed to be bantering good-humoredly. We proceeded to spend the better part of an hour talking.

She is quite an "open book" and is known as such to many people. I don't think she would mind in the slightest me recounting what I say here about our conversation. She complained about "Catholic Confession" but then gave me a chance to explain it and seemed to listen attentively. She asked me about what happens after we die, etc. In general, I would say she asked me some of the best, direct, questions that I have ever had on a first visit. I suppose knowing you will die in a few weeks helps to go straight to the point. All the while she poured tea, offered cake, and moved about pretty well. And her mind was sharp! She kept me on my toes.

It's very interesting to speak with someone who knows they will be leaving this world in just a few weeks, and who is not afraid to look that reality in the face. It very much helps put life in perspective. I won't go more into the encounter here, other than to say that she asked me to come back for another chat. Please pray for her and for me.

But in both of these encounters there was something very peaceful and joyful--both women had a certain peace and joy that was a blessing to encounter. I thank God for these two blessings of the past week, among many, many others.

May Jesus and Mary watch over you and guide you.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari

Three Kings and Frost in Cornwall

The Three Kings arrive in Cornwall

Dear Friends and Family,

Blessed Feasts of the Epiphany and of the Holy Family! As you can see above, the three kings arrived in the nativity scene in our chapel. I am very much looking forward to meeting the three kings one day in Heaven (God-willing, if I arrive there), and having a chance to fully see and understand their journey, as well as what their lives were like after adoring the newborn King. In the meantime, I find they have a lot to teach us as we begin this new year.

As I was driving home this evening I was thinking, "And what does God have in store for me in 2018?" What graces does He want to give? What are His plans for this year?" And I couldn't help but smile. For God's generosity has no limits. As our superemely good and loving Father He never looks at us and says, "I was very good to you last year, so I'm going to love you a bit less, do less for you this year." No, God always has ever better treasures in store for us. In fact He would love for us, like the Virgin Mary, to constant grow spiritually--which is to say to constantly open our souls more and more to the action of His grace, so that He might pour out more grace each moment into our souls. The Virgin Mary was not only conceived immaculate, but also grew in grace, wisdom, and holiness each moment of Her life. So Her soul was each moment more deeply united to God in charity, etc.... great mysteries which it's hard to express in words.

At any rate, this means for us, and concretely for myself--I was thinking while driving home tonight--that God wishes for this year to be even better than any previous year. So I was thinking about some of the beautiful moments with God that have taken place these past 42 years, some of the wonderful gifts and treasures that He has mercifully blessed me with. I have so very much to be thankful for. And yet this year God wishes to give something even better. I don't know what that is. It may well be gifts that will be hidden in faith, so that I won't perceive them at all, but I am sure that He wishes to give them.

It is wonderful to look at this next year in this way, through the eyes of faith, to catch a glimpse of the year ahead, in faith, as it truly is, or at least as God desires it to be, if I will only cooperate with Him: a year full of treasures of grace beyond anything that I have yet experienced. What a wonderful gift to look forward to!

And so, this new year begins. And the three Kings have so much to teach us. Surely, before the appearance of the star, they never expected the gift of coming and adoring the newborn King, and yet God had that in store and changed their lives forever. We most likely will not be asked to go on a long physical journey this year. For myself, it looks like this year will have at least a bit less traveling than last year. But God is asking each of us, if we are willing to "leave everything" interiorly, so that He can lead us, mould us, form us, according to His special plans. Whatever else this journey will involve, it will surely involve a lot of movement in terms of personal conversion--a willingness to die to myself in the aspects of my life that are not as God wants them to be, so that He can then form my life according to His will and His plans for this year.

As we begin this new year, I will be praying for each of you, asking that Jesus and Mary guide you and prepare you for whatever "great journey" God has in store for you during these next 12 months. Each of you was in my prayers especially two days ago in my First Friday Mass--as you always are on First Friday's--all of you who are my benefactors (which includes not only those who help materially but also anyone who prays or offers sacrifices for me--and hopefully all of you reading this blog at least say a prayer for me!). May God grant you to enter into the treasures of His grace that surpass anything this world can offer.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari

PS Please find below some images of frost on my car here two days ago. Amazing the beautiful designs that frost can make as it forms.

Hood of car.

Car Roof

Windshield