En France

Mortal Remains of St. Agnes, Virgin and Martyr

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm sitting down to write you after participating in the beautiful chanting of Sunday vespers, followed by a brief time of exposition of the Blessed Sacrament and benediction. It was chanted by about 40 seminarians and two priests. At one point the seminarian sitting next to me leaned over and showed me the part in his Liber Usualis where the next chant was. I smiled and nodded my head, meaning to thank him for letting me see that and sing along. However he then whispered in French "You need to stand up to intone it".... which was when I realized I was supposed to intone this chant all by myself... thankfully I vaguely remembered that antiphon and was able to intone it. It was beautiful to hear the Vespers sung--and to sing with the seminarians--in this old village Church in France. But I'll come to that in a moment...

The above photo is of the grave of St. Agnes, the young virgin and martyr whose feast (a second feast so to speak), was celebrated this past Thursday in Rome. I was able to walk to this church and to spend some time asking for her intercession for all of you as well as for my own vocation.

Please know that I pray for you every day and pray in particular for the hardships that several of you have written me about. This would not be the place for me to comment on those or to name them, but please know that I take to heart the intentions you have mailed to me and ask Our Lord and Our Lady to help you in ways that only they can. And beyond anything that you write me I ask the Lord to bless all of you with the graces you need, to grant you an abundance of His peace and strength.

I should probably also mention that a significant part of my days here is praying for the Lord's guidance for my own priestly life and speaking with various people who can provide particular input on the situation in the Church today and on how I might be able to best serve the Lord. It's probably best that I not be naming those people here, nor describing my own prayer and discernment at this point. But I will say that it has been both challenging and blessed. I often think of the fact that you are praying for me and that gives me real peace. Particularly in moments when I am tempted to become anxious or to say "but what if I don't listen well enough to what the Lord will indicate, etc." the thought comes to mind, "but no, there are these good people praying for me. The Lord will hear their prayers and help me--perhaps in spite of myself--to be faithful to His will." And I can see in many ways already that He is providing. Among other things there were several providential meetings last week which provided some good information and advice.

To give one concrete example of Divine Providence I will mention one part of the trip to France yesterday. I am spending this week at a seminary here at the suggestion of my spiritual director and the recommendation of someone in Rome. At the train station in Paris I discovered that the train I was supposed to take was cancelled all day due to work on the tracks. Hence I had to be re-routed and the trip was going to take significantly longer. Little did I know that God's providence was at work... During the "detour train ride" a group of 6 teenagers got onto my car and were chattering in French about a desire to sit together. I offered to give them my place so that they could all sit in this section as a group. But they said, "no, Father we'll just sit with you!" That was not quite what I was expecting from French teenagers and so struck up a conversation.

Turns out that they are all Catholics who attend the traditional Mass in France--a very friendly bunch of cousins who were getting on the train to head back to school this week. So I had a wonderful train ride learning to speak French again and learning about the situation of the Church in France, particularly from the perspective of teenagers. And they of course asked about the Church in the U.S. I told them about this wonderful group of children I knew in Texas :). As we talked more and they found out where I was going they said, "But we know Fr. X (the superior of the community I'm visiting). He married my parents and baptized us!" Turns out they did know him quite well and so it gave me an interesting insight into him and this community. Did not seem like a coincidence...

In fact I was enjoying talking so much that I almost forgot to hop off the train until the children reminded me and helped grab my luggage to get off the train in time.

Just one of many signs of the Lord looking after me, and no doubt due in part to your prayers.

Please pray for me during this week-long visit. I will be praying for you here.

In Corde Mariae,
Fr. Moses of Jesus Pillari

Rome: a Few Photos

The following photos are from the small chapel in the Lepanto Foundation where I've usually celebrated a daily Mass. I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by this statue of the Child Jesus. It turns out that Prof. De Mattei has a particular devotion to the Child Jesus, who also normally sits in the center of the altar. And just to make me feel at home they have... a first class relic of the True Cross, in addition to first class relics of St. Alphonsus Liguori and a bunch of other saints. Have been think of you all as I offer the Holy Sacrifice in this little chapel!

The image below is a Church I just stopped in at to pray yesterday--a relatively unknown Church in Rome. Was a very peaceful place to pray.

Lastly, if you want to see a few more images, look up Santissima Trinita Dei Peregrini (don't quote me on my spelling), in the heart of Rome, where I've offered a quiet morning Mass the past few mornings.

Ave Roma

My Dear Friends and Family,

This is the fourth morning since my arrival in Rome and it is a really beautiful one.  The sun is shining on a clear, crisp morning. I'm looking out the window at one of Rome's famous 7 hills, with the Circus Maximus just off to my left.

I had planned to show you some photos in this post but my computer is not cooperating so I am writing this post on an office computer at the Lepanto Foundation. Hopefully I will be able to connect later in the week and share a few photos with you.

First of all, I just offered the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass for you all, especially those who I would usually be with on Sunday morning. As I paused during the Canon to pray quietly for each of you I couldn't help smiling thinking of your faces and so many, many blessings from you. So if something good happened to you around 2AM Texas time maybe that was graces from this morning's Mass!

Even in just four days there would be too much to write. Rather than trying to give you everything I'll try to pick one particular thing to write about more. Since this is the first post I'll go ahead and shoot for a bit more.

In general though I'll say that I'm in that initial stage of feeling like I've been "thrown into the deep end of the pool" in terms of Italian culture and language. Getting around Rome is a learning experience. The Metro is pretty straight forward but there are not many lines. When walking or taking the bus... it's been an adventure. For example yesterday morning I set out to walk from the Lepanto Foundation to St. John Lateran and then to an appointment about 10 blocks beyond it. Though I'd tried to look carefully at the map before setting out I missed a turn and so wound up outside the ancient walls of the city, which I then hustled along the outside of until I found the next ancient entrance and walked quickly along that road to try to make my appointment. Turns out that road was the Via Appia (Appian Way), a very famous old road with catacombs, etc. There were basically no cars at that time so I couldn't help thinking of all the people who had walked down that old Roman road, and most likely all the Chrisitians who came that way on foot during pilgrimages. It was rather nice. And I did finally make my appointment... after speed-walking for a bit over an hour.

In general it is quiet amazing to be walking through Rome and stopping in to pray at the Basilica of St. Mary Major or the Holy Stairs or in a few minutes I'll be heading out the door to pray at the famous Church dedicated to souls in purgatory.

There has been no lack of people to meet or speak with--in Italian or English. Thursday evening, after a conference of professor De Mattei here at the foundation, an Italian man discovered I was from Texas and proceeded to tell me how enthusiastic he was about Texans' love for carrying guns, going into great detail regarding his love for old colt revolvers. After I indicated that I concurred he proudly showed me that he had one under his sport coat--carefully explaining that he was not a "mafioso", but was proud to always carry his colt on him...

Last night on the other hand I had dinner with two priest and Dr. and Mrs. De Mattei. Was very intersting conversation. One priest is working on his doctorate in Church History and the other a doctorate focussing on spiritual exercises of St. Igatius of Loyola. Though it was 2 hours in Italian I was glad to be able to understand almost all of it and chime in with short questions at the right time.

There have been, and will be in the coming week, already many more encounters with authors, clergy, etc. To protect the innocent I won't put most of their names in a blog entry but it should be an interesting week.

Lastly, even in the midst of the whirlwind of these past 4 days I have been blessed with silence, particulalry in the early mornings. On that note, it is now time for me to head out the door and walk to the Church dedicated to the poor souls. I plan to pray for them and to ask for their intercession in my time here and discernment.

Thinking of you all fondly. Thank you for your prayers. That must be why so many things are going well.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Moses of Jesus Pillari

Hermitage

Hermitage

I had the wonderful blessing of spending the past 9 days in this hermitage--and the Lord even answered my prayers by sending me this beautiful snow!

View from porch of the hermitage

Situated in the countryside outside of Columbus Ohio, on the property of the sisters of the Children of Mary (http://www.childrenofmary.net). They had extended daily adoration available in this chapel, in which I offered the Latin Mass for them each morning.

Sisters' Chapel

It was a truly wonderful week. The simple, one-room hermitage had a wood-burning stove in the center, a corner for prayer with a large Cross; another corner with a bed and dresser, another corner with a desk, and the final corner with a sink, etc. (no running water though). It was wonderful to be unplugged for the week, and  to have the extended silence to just be with Our Lord and Our Lady. There is something about waking up while it is still dark, lighting the fire in the wood-burning stove and watching the flames grow, then lighting the oil-lamp and a candle, and then kneeling down before the cross to begin matins.... that is very good for the soul, at least for my soul.

It was a very simple week spiritually, I worked me way through the Gospel of Luke as my main text for lectio divina as well as some other texts such as St. Alphonsus Liguori's "How to Pray at All Times." It felt--as it always does for me in these times away in a hermitage--as if below the surface of the daily routine God is putting things in my soul back in order, strengthening, enlightening, and in general giving my soul a "tune-up" for he coming months. 

That is one reason why I often like to re-read a Gospel during these times. Recalling how good and loving God is in the miracles He granted, listening again to the wisdom of His parables, and in general accompanying Him again throughout His life on the earth helps me recall how many, many things I have to be thankful for. To know that throughout the rest of my life I will always have Jesus and Mary right by my side, and that I will have the privilege every day (God-willing) of offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, is an amazing blessing. God is so good!

You all must have been praying for me because it was a particularly blessed week. I returned yesterday with my soul full of peace, joy, and strength for this next step of my journey, which will begin.... tomorrow when I fly to Rome. 

I am not sure that the reality of living for a while in Rome will really sink in until I have been there a few days. These past months have been so full that I have hardly spent time picturing it or thinking about it, other than making some plans regarding people that I will be meeting with, etc. But as I begin to think about it now it is rather amazing to realize that I will be in the heart of the place where St. Peter and so many martyrs gave their lives, where there are so many relics, the catacombs, the Colosseum, the Circus Maximus and Roman Forum, and where a key part of the Church's struggle in the modern world is being played out. I will keep you all in my heart as I visit the different Churches and pray there. 

The night after I arrive I will be attending a conference of Roberto De Mattei, and from there it looks like will be gradually meeting with different intellectuals and clergy in Rome. May Our Lady guide all of that according to what is best.

Please know that you all remain very much in my thoughts, and even more in my heart and in my prayers. I will do my best to keep in contact through this blog. I am still figuring out how to use it, but I think I now know enough to be able to write you regularly and post some photos. My hope will be to write you at least every two weeks, hopefully on a Sunday or Monday.

Please say a big hello from me to the children who are unable to read. In fact please let them know that one of the few "extra" items that I will be able to take with me to Rome will be the tiny decorated box given to my by the little girls on one of the days which contains... nothing materially, but which they gave representing all of the prayers that the children are sending me. I will try to keep it on my desk in Rome as a reminder of that precious gift.

All right then, all systems are go for take-off tomorrow... Duc in Altum! ("Set out into the deep" Lk 5:4). 

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,

(in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary)

Fr. Moses of Jesus Pillari

Wyoming

The Wyoming Mountains

Jan. 4th 2015

... are really beautiful! I'm sitting on the floor of my room in the rectory of Our Lady of the Rosary Parish in Lander, Wyoming, where I am a guest for this week while offering the Traditional Latin Mass for Wyoming Catholic College. This photo gives you a glimpse https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lander,_Wyoming#/media/File:Lander,_WY.jpg (except that right now everything is covered with snow and the mountains are much more majestic). After arriving late Saturday night, I woke up to a pink sky, as the sun was rising, crisp air about 10 degrees above zero, snow covered mountains all around me, some horses grazing near the rectory, and the sleepy town of Lander down below.

You all in Texas were very much on my mind Sunday. What are they doing at this time of the morning? By now the gathering after Mass will have finished. How did the children spend the early hours of Sunday morning since they weren't preparing music? etc. etc. I have been praying for you a lot, especially when offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. I would be lying if I said it doesn't hurt to be gone and I don't miss you lots. But I'm asking the Virgin Mary to accept those sacrifices as prayers for you all, and hope that you will receive graces through them. Just before typing this I spent some time alone in the Church, talking to Mary (one of the benefits of being completely alone in a Church is that you can do so out loud) about many things including you all, and then praying compline.

As for me here it was a very nice week last week with my family in Cleveland. Being with my siblings, little nieces and nephews, having homemade food all week long, listening to Christmas music and seeing the beauty of the Christmas tree and decorations... it was wonderful. This week is giving me some more quiet time--when not celebrating the Mass, or chanting vespers with folks here. I am catching up on some work in preparation for the studies in Italy. 

This afternoon Dr. Kwasniewski very generously gave me about 4 hours just to visit about liturgy, theology, etc. Some of you might remember him from the homily I gave this fall which quoted a portion of his address at the university of Steubenville http://rorate-caeli.blogspot.com/2015/09/dr-kwasniewskis-lecture-at-steubenville.html on the liturgy. Though I've only read a portion of his work I've really appreciated his views and his charity. Some of you might find his book "Resurgent in the Midst of Crisis" interesting. 

On Friday I will fly back to Cleveland (after a 6 hour drive to Denver--courtesy of Dr. Kwasniewski will be doing so it should make for some good extended theological conversations), and then on Saturday will drive to the Children of Mary for a much needed week of silence in a hermitage. 

Please know that I miss you all dearly, but that you are often in my thoughts and prayers. Please say hello to your children for me.

​May Our Lady guide you and protect you.

Fr. Moses of Jesus+