Desiring the Salvation of Souls

Sunrise in Littleton, Colorado. Taken from the backyard of the presbytery of Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish.

What "ASAP" really means. Hanging in someone's home.

View from where I'm sitting right now--a park in Boulder Colorado, with my back against a tree, typing this blog...

Dear Friends and Family,

There would be much to write you about from the past week--not the least of which would be the fact that I passed my comprehensive exam and am now a licensed canon lawyer! However since I can't share about everything, and after praying a few moments about what to write, I'd like to share with you a very simple event that happened a few days ago...

I had just landed in the Denver airport and was waiting for a bus. A man walked up to me and said "Hello Father," and then quickly began to speak of the urgent reason that has brought him to the Denver airport. He was a well-built man, about 60 years old, who reminded me of a Texas business man (and indeed he was from Texas). He explained that he was going to visit his friend, who was lying seriously ill in a home near Denver. He was not one of his closest friends. In fact they'd met just a few years ago. But they had seen each other on several occasions and had struck up a friendship.

This Texas traveler was now making a weekend trip to try to save his friend's soul. "I'm concerned for his soul. He hasn't accepted Jesus Christ into his life yet," he said. "I was supposed to come see him next weekend. But his son called me a few days ago and said that if I wanted to see him while he was still conscious I'd better hurry. So I booked this flight straight away. He's a good man, but He hasn't accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and so he risks going to hell. It's awful to think of your friend in hell for eternity..." The man was tearing up as he spoke, in spite of having the appearance of a "tough Texas man" who would normally not allow himself to cry.

"I'm going to talk with him, to tell him what he risks suffering for all eternity, to speak to him about Jesus Christ." We then talked for a few minutes (still waiting for the bus) about the awful reality of hell, the priceless gift of Jesus Christ as the Way, the Truth, and the Life, the only one who could save souls from hell and grant them entrance into heaven. I thanked him for all that he was doing to try to save his friend's soul and assured him I would pray for his friend. He added, "Yes, it's the most important thing in the world. Nothing else really matters. I'm glad that my children have had the chance to work with older people as they were dying. They've had the chance to see the importance in serving older people--how valuable the elderly are simply as persons--and that my children understand the importance of eternal salvation." Then the bus pulled up, we got on and were separated, and shortly thereafter he got off.

A great reminder of the urgent importance of the salvation of souls... and that was followed up by the pastor's sermon this Sunday. Father Jackson, FSSP, kindly let me stay at their rectory for a few days so that I could visit with my brother and his wife and children out here in Colorado. He also asked me to celebrate two of the Sunday Masses (which were quite full--6:30AM on a Sunday had around 150 people, and 8:30 AM had around 300--and this was before the 10:30AM High Mass and then 12:30PM Mass). Father Jackson preached on the Trinity, and also recalled Our Lord's words, "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the road is broad that lead to destruction, and there are many that enter by it. How narrow the gate and straight the road that leads to life and few there are that find it!" (Mt 7:14).

How many souls around us, people we encounter every day, are on the broad way that leads to destruction? And what are you and I doing to help them? As Our Lady said to the young children at Fatima, "There are many souls that go to hell because there is no one to pray and make sacrifices for them." May Our Lady find among us, and among young children today, generous souls to help save others from the awful flames of hell.

And God bless this man at the Denver airport who was willing to make the urgent trip to try to save his friend's soul.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari, J.C.L.

Post coming by Tuesday night

Dear Friends and Family,

I have limited internet access at the moment and likely will not be able to post photos and a blog post until Tuesday.

Praying for you!

Fr. Tony Pillari

Little Thomas

Back yard of my parents' house, where I've been studying for the week. Look at the size of the trees!

Back yard.

My little nephew Thomas. In spite of how he looks he was quite comfortable in this position,  and had been sleeping peacefully.

Thomas sleeping on my brother-in-law Pat.

Dear Friends and Family,

A few days ago little Thomas, pictured above, was taking a nap. I sat studying with a baby-monitor next to me, keeping an eye on him since everyone else was out. Baby monitors have improved a lot since I was little. This one even shows you a live video of the baby sleeping. So I watched him sleep, toss and turn, sigh, and then... wake up.. earlier than expected, while everyone was still out. He began to fuss and I at first dutifully followed orders to let him fuss for a bit, to see if he would fall back asleep or really cry. He began to really cry... so I made my way into his room to pick him up.

As the door opened he settled down a bit to examine just who was walking into his room. But as I bent down to pick him up I think he determined that I was neither his mom, nor someone familiar and so he began to cry more intensely. OK, I thought, walk him, pat him on the back, and bounce him a little. That should work.

No dice. I walked him around the house but he kept crying loudly. Then I remembered... he loves to stare at moving ceiling fans. So I quickly made my way onto the porch, turned on the fan and then spent a while juggling him in one arm while trying to get the fan speed to slow down with the other arm, so that he could actually see it spin. He kept screaming for a few moments but then, as I rocked him in a porch chair from which he could stare at the spinning fan, he finally began to calm down and we had some moments to just sit there together. I sang the Ave Maria and we watched the fan spin...

And it occurred to me that such activities are what occupies, and has occupied for centuries, much of the days and nights of mothers for a significant portion of their life. Rock baby, help baby sleep, pray for baby, talk to him, feed baby, change diaper, etc. etc. etc. then repeat. Such simple, hidden things that the world doesn't notice. And to think that the Virgin Mary is doing all this on the spiritual level each moment of each day for me. Looking after me, protecting me, nourishing my soul, praying for me, trying to guide me, correcting me when I've sinned, placing peace and joy in the soul, and a thousand other actions in our souls.. What a gift it is to have such a Heavenly Mother! 

A few minutes later my dad walked in the door and claimed little Thomas and I went back to studying, which is how I spent the week: early morning prayer and Mass, study, at some point head to an adoration chapel to make a Holy Hour, keep studying, exercise, dinner and some time with family, repeat. A blessed way to spend a week.

This Tuesday are my comprehensive exams as the final exams to become a canon lawyer. We are supposed to be prepared to answer any question regarding the entire code of canon law, but with particular reference to fifteen topics that I have been focussing on: general decrees and instructions, the rights and duties of the Christian faithful, the rights and duties of the laity, Mass stipends and their administration, penal censures and the process of imposing penal sanctions, religious communities' administration of temporal goods, processes for investigating the nullity of a marriage, marriage law on consent and impediments to marriage, administration of temporal goods in dioceses and parishes, the Church's oversight of books and other means of communication, juridic persons in the Church, and private and public associations of the faithful.

On Tuesday morning I'll have two 30 minute oral examinations, each with two professors. Hopefully I will come out of it a canon lawyer.

Lastly, I wish to say a particular word of thanks to those of you who have so generously been making my studies and priestly ministry during this time possible thanks to your donations. I offered Friday's Mass, as I do every first Friday, for you and your intentions.

On this Pentecost Sunday may Jesus and Mary watch over you, protect you, and guide you to become a saint one day.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,

Fr. Tony Pillari

Home for Dad's Birthday

Poor Clares' Adoration Chapel near where I grew up--this was an important place of prayer for me as I was discovering my vocation.

Close-up. The nuns are on the other side of the wall praying...

Dear Friends and Family,

I write you this afternoon from Bay Village Ohio, where we are celebrating my Dad's 70th birthday. So much to be thankful for! I've been very blessed to have a dad who has so many virtues: honest, hard-working, generous, loving, willing to discipline, etc. etc. (and a good sense of humor :). I have been thanking God today for this wonderful gift of a good father, which I'll probably only fully appreciate one day in Heaven.

So, I drove home Friday afternoon from Ottawa and am spending yesterday and today with my family. Yesterday we treated my dad to a Cleveland Indians' game, something he used to go to as a little boy, then that he took us to as kids while we were growing up, and still enjoys. Here's a photo of us at the game:

My brother TJ, Dad, sister Elizabeth at the game (brother Andy really wanted to come but will have to fly in later).

Yesterday included the fun activity of my niece and nephews showing me the "cave". The cave is located on the side of my parents' house it is... a little area in the bushes in front of the house, hidden in between the bushes and the wall of the house, where they put down pavers in order to make it a sort of club-house or tree-house where they could sneak away to be. Was fun to have them show me this and in general is very good to catch up with them and my siblings.

Speaking of which I will have to make this post short because I need to go back to be with them for dinner which will begin in a few moments, but I wanted to pull away to write you all.

This week I'll be essentially spending all-day every day studying for my comprehensive exams in canon law and also for the comprehensive exam (baby-bar) in civil law. So no risk of being bored! Providentially though I'll be doing that at home with home-cooked meals before heading back up to Canada.

But before that I'll have a fun evening which I had best get to now...

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,

Fr. Tony Pillari

Rome Life Forum

Inside St. Peter's Friday Morning.

St. Peter's as the sun is rising, waiting to enter to celebrate Mass at St. Peter's tomb below the main altar.

A Conference at the Rome Life Forum

Dear Friends and Family,

This morning I walked the catacombs of St. Priscilla, and prayed at the tomb of St. Philomena! Of course her relics are no longer there but it is where she lay buried for the better part of 2,000 years and it was wonderful to pray there, to have a tour of the catacombs, and then to assist at a Mass celebrated near St. Philomena's tomb. Someone here locally even invited to get me in on a future visit, "outside of normal visiting hours" when no tourists would be there and we could have the catacombs to ourselves.

I am in Rome for five days, flying back to Canada tomorrow morning, for the Rome Life Forum. Unfortunately much of what I have been doing here I can't write about because it involves people's personal lives and my work here as a priest. I can say though that I am here because of some ongoing work I have been asked to do to help the pro-life movement and the conferences have been great. They should soon, if not already, be posting all of the conferences on LifeSite's website and also on Voice of the Family's website. If you have the time to look at them I would particularly recommend:

-Matthew McCuster's talk on the (quite scary) work of the U.N. to the detriment of children and families (this is a talk for those looking for facts and information).

-Fr. Linus Clovis' talk if you are looking to hear a courageous priest speaking boldly.

-The talk given by a lady on Friday morning (I had to miss this one in order to meet with someone here in Rome), that I heard was quite good.

-Of course Cardinal Burke's and Bishop Schneider's talks were excellent.

It has been quite an intense five days, with yesterday being Italy's March for Life. I had debated about taking a week away from studies, when those are very intense now and much in need of time, but it seemed to me the Lord was asking this of me and it has been a very rewarding few days. It will make studies more challenging the next 5 weeks but then.... you only live once! And it has been a great opportunity to be here these days and something that should bear good fruit in this next year's work.

Friday morning I had a particular blessing. A friend had arranged for us to reserve the "chapel Clementina"--the small chapel in the crypt just below St. Peter's tomb--for a Mass. Already on Wednesday afternoon, shortly after getting off the plane, I had been blessed to join a "Scavi tour" underneath the Basilica. You walk the streets that were buried there in the early 300's when Constantine filled in the land with dirt in order to build his Basilica on top of it. It is rather amazing to  not only walk those ancient streets but to also see the, largely intact, buildings that were buried then as well: the buildings that contained the tombs of early Romans, some of whom were Christian. But even more amazing is to hear the story of St. Peter's martyrdom, which took place in Nero's circus (or arena, not sure of the proper name) that was located just next to the current St. Peter's. So knowing St.  Peter was martyred and buried there was quite moving.

But even more moving was to celebrate a 7AM Mass Friday morning on the altar that is attached to the tomb of St. Peter. It is a chapel that has existed, in its current state, for 400 years. And so as I offered the Mass there I couldn't help but think of all of the popes over the past 400 years who had offered Mass on that very altar, standing right where I was standing... and I paused for a long time during the canon of the Mass to pray for each of you--so many different situations and family needs, needs of religious and priests, and so many, many needs. I also placed my own priesthood there on the altar, asking St. Peter to obtain for me the grace of faithfully preserving and preaching the Catholic Faith that he received from Our Lord 2,000 years ago.

Much more could be said about these few days, but due to space I'll just mention one other example. Friday evening Cardinal Burke led a holy hour and benediction for people who had come for the March for Life. It took place in the church Sant'Andrea dalle Fratte, which is famous largely because it is where the miraculous conversion of Alphonse Ratisbonne took place. Alphonse vigorously denied the Catholic Faith. However a friend dared him to wear a miraculous medal and (I think) to enter this church. Alphonse took him up on the dare and when he entered the church Our Lady appeared to him, he was converted instantly, and went on to become a Catholic priest. That altar was also the altar where St. Maximilian Kolbe celebrated one of his first Masses.

Well, I'd best sign off in order to go pray and to make a Holy Hour at St. Peter's. Then there will be a final dinner this evening with the organizers of the conference.

I have carried you all in my heart here, especially in Friday morning's Mass. May Jesus and Mary protect you and guide you.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari

My attempt at a selfie. I think it looks rather goofy but some of this asked for this, so here you go.

St. Pius X's altar in St. Peter's.

St. Peter's Square 

Our Lady of Fatima

Our Lady of Fatima's statute--placed out for this weekend's Masses.

Dear Friends and Family,

First, to all those mothers out there: a very happy and blessed Mothers Day to each of you. Thank you for all the daily, hidden sacrifices you make for your families. May God grant you extra peace, strength, and joy on this day,

As I was praying in church yesterday, looking at this statue, I was reminded of something that happened 23 years ago, when I was a sophomore at Notre Dame. I had begun to go through a conversion and was just beginning to discover a number of aspects of the Faith. There was a dance in my dorm one weekend--it was called a "dance" but actually was more drinking and partying than dancing. I had decided not to attend and to not even be around the dorm that night. Instead I was in the library. It was not an easy sacrifice at the time for me to make: to be alone in the library instead of with the others in my dorm. So I was looking for something distracting to read, and then picked up... The True Story of Fatima by Fr. John de Marchi.

For the rest of that night, until after 2AM (when the "dance" finally ended and things returned to relative quiet in the dorm), I sat in the library reading this wonderful little book and discovered... the amazing story of the lives of the children of Fatima. How amazing, wonderful, and humbling it was to read about how these three little children, with the simplicity of children, responded to Our Lady's message! It was beautiful to read how they learned to pray from the angel, how they bravely accepted to make sacrifices for the conversion of sinners, how they related to each other as friends and cousins, and how in the end Francisco and Jacinta bravely gave their lives at such an early age. Inspiring and humbling.... to realize how very far, far away I was from how these children had responded.

Today I'm unfortunately still far, far away from how these children responded, but they are great intercessors to ask for help. If you haven't read this little book, which you can still find for sale (and I think for free online in some places), you might consider it. The children of Fatima still have so much to teach us I think

May Our Lady of Fatima watch over each of you and may She grant us to renew our devotion to Her Immaculate Heart.

I'll sign off for now as I promised a local family that I would join them for lunch. This was an intense week of studies. One course in particular is really hard! But I suppose that means I'm learning more by being challenged.

I'll be writing you next Sunday from Rome, where I'll be for the Rome Life Forum. Until then, oremus pro invicem!

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari

The Queen of Heaven and Earth

Our Lady Crowned on this First Sunday of May

Dear Friends and Family,

We have a Queen! The Queen of Heaven and earth. And what a wonderful, beautiful queen She is. This morning the pastor here, Fr. Deprey, very kindly asked me to be the main celebrant for our Solemn High Mass. The Mass began with a procession to the statue you see pictured above, except that She was uncrowned at the time.

The procession was led by about 10 young men who would then serve the Mass. They were followed by a little girl, about 7 years old, carrying the crown of flower for the Virgin Mary on a special pillow. Then came the MC, Fathers Deprey and Breton (acting as Deacon and Subdeacon for the day), and myself.

We processed to the side altar as pictured here:

Side Altar to Our Lady.

This is also where I celebrate most of my quite early morning Masses during the week. As we arrived there a small stepladder was placed in front of the altar, I climbed up (having to then stand on the altar as there was no other way to reach the top of the statue), received the crown of flowers from the little girl, and then crowned Our Lady. All the while the choir and organist led a beautiful hymn in French to Her. A beautiful moment to crown Our Heavenly Mother!

We then processed into the sanctuary and began the Solemn High Mass.

The chanting of the Gospel.

It was a beautiful Mass. I was struck by the diversity of the congregation: white and black, French and English speakers, young and old, handicapped, great numbers of little children--all came together to kneel and adore the Lord in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. And among the Congregation were.... my own parents.

My Dad and I outside the original chapel St. André helped build.

They traveled here for the weekend to see where I was living, praying, and studying. Yesterday we made a day pilgrimage to St. Joseph's Oratory and the tomb or Saint André (Brother André). It was especially nice to read some accounts of his life, while praying in the oratory, to pray at his tomb, and to see the little chapel he lived in and helped build (before the larger one was built). It was a very nice weekend with my parents.

Last week was intense for studies and this week will be the same, but for now I am simply giving thanks for the graces of this weekend.

I found this article interesting--a timely and perceptive analysis of the connection between the Fatima message and the threat of communism. It's a 2-minute read in case you are interested. https://www.lifesitenews.com/opinion/russia.-why-was-our-lady-of-fatima-so-concerned-about-russia

May the Blessed Virgin Mary guide and bless each of your families during this month of May!

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari