Sunday, March 26, 2017

Laetare Sunday

Spring has arrived! The grotto just outside the entrance to the chapel hear at Lanherne.
The chapel (now sadly an Anglican chapel) at Lanhydrock, with Steve Best pictured a very good local craftsman who has been a tremendous blessing for the work of restoration here at Lanherne and who took time to show me around Lanhydrock (I'll explain below).

Grounds at Lanhydrock.

Grounds at Lanhydrock (buildings in distance).

Morning of the Annunciation at Lanherne.

Annunciation morning.
Dear Friends and Family,

A blessed Laetare Sunday! I hope this note finds you rejoicing appropriately. It has certainly been a blessed weekend here. As you can see from the photos, spring has arrived! While the winters here are cloudy and rainy, that leads to much greenery and many flowers, and the countryside is lovely when the sun is out.

I had a simple but beautiful celebration of the Annunciation yesterday, with a sung Mass in the morning, beautiful weather, time to take a jog down to the ocean, sermon preparation for Sunday, and some particularly blessed time of prayer in the early morning hours with Our Lady. So much to be thankful for. She has taken such good care of me for so many years. May She guide me for the rest of my life and always do with me as She wishes.

This week I received a private tour of Lanhydrock, one of the most visited National Trust (i.e. national "treasure") properties in England. This was thanks to Steve Best, pictured above, a very kind and tireless worker out here at Lanherne (to recall "Lanherne" is told English for the "Chapel of St. Hernan" and is the name for the Convent I'm at). He's friends with the curator for Lanhydrock and arranged for a private tour. The grounds and old home are quite impressive. It gives a glimpse into life of the nobility as it was lived in centuries past. The tour included all sorts of details including how the kitchen was run, servants' quarters and lives, where the children performed plays, the old billiards room the men used to retire to, etc. To be honest though it was in many was a tour of the empty things of this world. I couldn't help but feel how empty all of that was when the essential thing was missing: faith in Our Lord and a life spent serving Him. Some noble families of course did that and did it admirably, but this does not seem to have been one of those examples.

Why did I go on the tour? Well, Lanherne is a property as old, in fact older, than this other one and was owned by a noble family, but a family who were very Catholic and sacrificed greatly for their Faith, for some of them it cost them their lives, and eventually gave the home to the Carmelites to become their convent. So our building is also extremely important for historical purposes. The project director for our monastery works for the National Trust and suggested that I see some of their properties to get a sense of how they preserved things and presented them to the public. Lanherne is very unique in that it has authentic nuns still living in it!

The Masses today were a joy--a particular joy realizing that we are now just three weeks away from the celebration of Our Lord's passion, death, and resurrection. It also turned out to fall on my birthday this year. Since entering religious life 21 years ago I've gotten in the habit of not celebrating birthdays, but the word leaked out somehow that today was mine and so the little congregation here prepared...

... a birthday cake with the Annunciation pictured on the top! Most of it was eaten by the children and others this morning (at my request), but they saved a large piece (only a small portion of which I'll manage to eat tonight!) for my supper. So in just a moment I will sign off here to have some dinner and some birthday cake.

May God grant each of you the peace, joy, and strength to live well these final three weeks of Lent. For "if we have died with Him we shall also live with Him; if we suffer we shall also reign with Him" (2 Tim 2:12).

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Homemade Pizza during Lent


Dear Friends and Family,

As I sit down to write you this email it is the beginning of St. Joseph's Feast Day. A day full of graces! I'm looking forward to praying matins for his feast day, to the Mass tomorrow, and to invoking St. Joseph's assistance for so many things. It seems that, after the Virgin Mary, he was the next holiest saint in the entire history of the Church. He is the official patron of fathers, workers, travelers, immigrants, unborn children, a happy death and--for good measure, to make sure everything was covered!--of the universal Church. Here at the monastery I'll be asking him to watch over in a particular way the sisters and their contemplative life, as well as the physical needs of the monastery; also to watch over and guide my priesthood, all the families I am serving or have served--including you all and my own family--and a whole list of intentions...

And though Lent is a serious time of sacrifice and prayer, of conversion and grace, it is also a time of particular joy. At least Jesus would like to grant us some share of His joy during this season. While that joy is usually spiritual, this weekend brought a more temporal joy: homemade pizza.

John, the young man spending a year here for spiritual formation, turned 21 this weekend and his family hosted a birthday celebration. And since the family also runs a bakery, we made good use of it to make.... homemade pizzas. There were about 20 children and a bunch of adults who filed into the bakery, where an assembly line was awaiting them... First I was asked to bless the food. Then, the assembly line... first you picked up the little batch of pizza dough that was ready to be cooked, then you added sauce (or ketchup, which I'd never seen before on pizza!), then the option of various cheeses, tuna fish, onions, peppers, corn, and various other items...

The pizzas were of varying types: some were neat and tidy with just a few ingredients. Others were more artistically done, others were piles of various ingredients (mine fell in that category), and then one won the prize of the tallest stack, the "leaning tower of pizza." Though when it came out of the oven it had been reduced to the same basic height as the other pizzas. It simply had an overflow of toppings, flowing out over the sizes.

Once your pizza was assembled the 30 some odd pizzas were placed on large trays (with your name written in pencil next to it on the baking sheet, so that even after the pizza melted you might be able to find yours), and then they went into the oven. About 30 minutes later.... what you see in the photo above took place.

It was a nice way to celebrate a birthday. Now we charge into the third week of Lent, with its beautiful feasts of St. Joseph and of the Annunciation, and then of Laetare Sunday. Hope your week is blessed. I will be praying for you here.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Visiting the Sick

A street in Plymouth near the church I say Mass in each Sunday.

Photo taken from a street just above the village where the Carmel is located.
Dear Friends and Family,

A very blessed Second Sunday of Lent to you all! This past week here had many blessings--one of which was making it through my all-day exam on Friday. Thank you very much for your prayers. It was probably the most difficult exam I have ever taken in my life. I won't receive my grades for several weeks. However I think I passed it. And whether I did or not it is a blessing to have made it through! Thank you very much for your prayers.

Among the blessings and joys of this Sunday was the chance to bring the Sacraments to someone who has been very sick--in this case a mother with a little baby. Out of discretion I will not mention details about the individual but will say that it is a great privilege to bring Holy Communion and to administer Confession to someone. I was really struck today by the great privilege of carrying the Body of Christ on me as I walked into the home and was received by the family, then of placing the Sacred Host on a little altar prepared, taking some moments to adore Him, then offering the Sacrament of Confession, being able to absolve all of the person's sins. What an immense blessing and joy.... sitting there and talking with them, listening to them, offering them the Body of Christ, and first absolution, I felt so "little"--as if I was there in the middle of a great interaction between God and this person's soul, but feeling in a sense surprised to find myself there. It's hard to put into words but it's a rather amazing thing to see at times God work in someone's soul through your presence as a priest and to realize that you have very little at all to do with it, and yet that He is using your hands, your words, etc. A truly wonderful blessing....

I had that blessing on Ash Wednesday, when a little boy had just returned from the hospital and I was able to offer him and his family ashes. Then he and his siblings sat on the couch and brought to me a little book of saints, one of which I read to them, and then was on my way to Plymouth for that evening's Mass. A wonderful blessing.

And though I've often mentioned this in past posts, I was struck again today by the beautiful privilege of offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass--not once, but twice on a Sunday. Kneeling down as a priest to adore Him right after the consecration, then raising Him up for all to adore, then kneeling again, then receiving Him myself and taking some moments to pray in silence, then offering Him to all those who come forward to kneel and receive Him. Wonderful blessings...

Well, even with all these blessings, my body is telling me that it's rather worn out after a week of intense study and a bit less sleep than usual, so I'd best turn in for the night (and will likely set my alarm a bit later than usual tomorrow).

Thank you again for all your prayers. You are in mine here. May Jesus and Mary watch over you and bless you as we enter into this second full week of Lent.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Continuous Prayer

Sign at the entrance to the Carmel.
Dear Family and Friends,

Many of you have heard me speak about "continuous prayer"--the traditional practice of trying to pray all throughout one's day, often by repeating quietly to oneself the names of Jesus and Mary, or simple prayers such as "Jesus, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner." I wanted to share with you an experience of this that I had last night.

The occasion was a late-night exam. I have been trying to catch up on studies, preparing for a year-end final in three courses this Friday March 10th (extra prayers are welcome!). The latter part of the week I was trying to review and cram for one last smaller essay exam that I had to take in preparation for the final. After spending all day Saturday studying I still was not quite there in the late afternoon, not quite there in the early evening, and then I had to make the decision, do I stay up later tonight and finish this or hold off until Monday? It seemed to me better to get it over with rather than having it hanging over my head on Sunday, so, after pausing to go for a jog, and praying compline and matins, I returned to studying until... midnight, when I finally felt prepared enough to take the exam.

But before I got to the exam, I'd made an important decision: to try to spend the hours of study and preparation in continuous prayer: invoking in particularly over and over again the name of Mary with devotion and love. With studying being hard and fatigue setting in, and the exam appearing more and more difficult, I was extra motivated to pray. You see how poor my spiritual life is... it takes the pressure of an exam to get me to pray more earnestly...

But I thought "Well, if I spend this time studying and the exam invoking the name of Mary constantly then this time will be well spent and fruitful, regardless of whether I fail or pass the exam."And I found that when I tried to focus my mind in the first place on Mary, on constantly repeating Her name with love and devotion, over and over again, then everything in me was much calmer, and I was able to keep the pages of information that I was trying to memorize more clearly in my head even though I was "not focussing on it so much." When my studying became more difficult I would realize that I had stopped praying in this fashion and ought to invoke Her name again, and then things became more peaceful and went better. And so it went, back and forth.

It's rather hard for me to describe, but what I was perceiving was that by giving the "first and principal part of my mind" to Mary in each moment "the rest of my mind" was able to study better and more peacefully, and that somehow it was possible to have my mind "in two places at once," so to speak. It was very nice to experience this. It was something new for me.

So as the clock struck midnight I logged in to take the essay exam. I tried once again to keep Our Lady in the first place in my mind. Though to be honest I think I did a better job of it while studying. After 75 minutes of analyzing and typing furiously I breathed a sigh of relieve, said a prayer of thanksgiving, took a few minutes to stretch out the tense muscles in my neck, and then went to sleep (and I think I did well on the exam, though we'll see).

I hope I will now do a better job of living of continuous prayer on a daily basis, though that very much remains to be seen. To be honest, I forget it so easily and do quite a poor job of it. But it is a wonderful gem for our spiritual lives, and something I highly recommend, not just when studying!

Now if I can only manage to follow my own advice...

Lastly, my sister gave birth to a baby boy this weekend: Thomas Francis. So I'm an uncle once again!

With prayers for you all as we enter the second week of Lent.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Creating a Chapel and Preparing for Lent


Dear Friends and Family,

This beautiful old fireplace is in a room which is now being turned into the "presbytery chapel" thanks to the skill and hard work of the sisters. The image over the fire place is St. Cuthbert Mayne, the 16th century martyr who said Mass here at Lanherne the year before he was martyred. On the right is a nice image of Our Lady. The altar will actually be along the wall off to your left. The sisters very generously offered to create a chapel for me and other priests on retreat here because the main chapel is such that it's difficult for the priest to pray facing directly the Blessed Sacrament, and also because it is difficult to chant the office in their, since the sisters are chanting or being quiet in the same space, etc. Really looking forward to having this quiet chapel! The nuns have been resounding the floor, preparing walls for painting, etc. and will then be building a simple altar to compliment the wooden tabernacle that we ordered. May God reward them.

Since we're just a few days from Lent I thought it might be worth sharing my sermon notes with you. I say "sermon notes" because even though it's written out I often adapt the words a bit, or add things, etc. when giving it. I thought the part from Don Bosco might be of interest to you, especially to the young men in your families.

Will be praying for you all this week, asking Our Lady to guide your souls to open to all the graces that God desires to give you this Lent. It really is a beautiful, wonderful season. One full of sacrifice and hope, which often grow together.

In Cordibus Iesu et Marie,
Fr. Tony Pillari

Srm Catechism 004
Quinquagesima: Don Bosco’s vision of Hell

N.B.: In the dream of St. Don Bosco cited below some of the words have been paraphrased and edited for the purpose of brevity.
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“For He will be delivered to the Gentiles, and will be mocked and scourged and spit upon; and after they have scourged Him, they will put Him to death; and on the third day He will rise again.”
“Anyone who does not take up his own cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” (Lk 14:27)
“From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, ‘Do Penance for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.’” (Mt 4:17)
Anyone who chooses to follow Jesus Christ must do penance, must embrace his own cross, must be willing to “chastise [his own] flesh and subdue it,” to use the words of St. Paul. Are you willing, during this Lent which begins in just three days to “chastise your flesh and subdue it?” Are you willing to do penance, to embrace your own Cross, so that one day you might arrive in Heaven?
Lent is a tremendous time of grace, it is a time when God wishes to bestow immense graces and gifts upon you. But he respects your freedom. He doesn’t force His gifts upon you. And so you need to be willing to take up your cross and follow Him, you need to do penance, to work at that daily, so that—through God’s grace—your soul might be freed from the slavery of sin and you might begin to experience the peace and the joy that comes from following Jesus Christ more fully on this earth. A peace and a joy that, even in the midst of suffering in this valley of tears, are greater than anything this world has to offer.
And so right now is the time to resolve to do penance. What penance will you be doing for the 40 days of Lent? There are many different ways of doing penance, but there is a great wisdom in the Church’s traditional practice of fasting. Up until a few decades ago all Catholics, from age 21 to 65, only ate one full meal a day, and two smaller meals that together did not equal a full meal, throughout all of Lent—on every day except for Sunday. This fast is steady and healthy, and the hunger that we feel is a constant reminder of the need to pray, of the need to turn away from our sins, of the need to sacrifice our lives out of the love of God and for the salvation of souls.
There are many other ways of doing penance, and each of us should ask God, “What penance are you asking me to do this Lent?” and should then try to embrace and implement that penance, of course being prudent with our health, but that is usually not the problem today. Usually today our problem is that we are not generous enough in making sacrifices for God.
Much more could be said about penance, but I want above all today to recall one of the reasons for doing penance, but sharing with you a vision of St. Don Bosco, or rather a portion of a vision that he had as a dream, in which an angel instructed him on the needs of the young men he was working with, at his school called the oratory. Given the importance of our preparation for Lent, I would ask you the sacrifice of listening to a longer sermon than usual. Here then, in Don Bosco’s own words (occasionally paraphrased by me to make this briefer), is his vision:

…We took the road. It was beautiful, wide, and neatly paved. Both sides were lined with magnificent verdant hedges dotted with gorgeous flowers. At first glance, the road was level and comfortable… Though it did not look steep at all, I found myself moving so swiftly that I felt I was effortlessly gliding through the air.

I became aware that the Oratory boys and very many others whom I did not know were following me. … now one, now another [would] fall to the ground and instantly be dragged by an unseen force toward a frightful drop, distantly visible, which sloped into a furnace. … Traps were everywhere, ….but … well concealed. Unaware of their danger, many boys got caught, [would trip, and sprawl to the ground,].. Then, when they managed to get back on their feet, they would run headlong down the road toward the abyss….. The ground traps, fine as spiders' webs and hardly visible, seemed very flimsy and harmless; yet, to my surprise, every boy they snared fell to the ground.
[My] guide remarked, "Do you know what this is?"
"Just some filmy fiber," I answered.
"A mere nothing," he said, "just plain human respect."[explain meaning of human respect]

[each trap] bore an inscription: Pride, Disobedience, Envy, Sixth Commandment, Theft, Gluttony, Sloth, Anger and so on. [The most dangerous traps, those that snared the greatest number of boys] were those of impurity, disobedience, and pride. In fact, these three were linked to together.

Looking even more closely, I spotted knives among the traps… …for cutting oneself free. The bigger ones, symbolizing meditation [explain type of prayer], were for use against the trap of pride; others, not quite as big, symbolized spiritual reading well made. There were also two swords representing devotion to the Blessed Sacrament, especially through frequent Holy Communion, and to the Blessed Virgin. There was also a hammer symbolizing confession, and other knives signifying devotion to Saint Joseph, to Saint Aloysius, and to other Saints. By these means quite a few boys were able to free themselves or evade capture.
….
We continued our descent, the road now becoming so frightfully steep that it was almost impossible to stand erect. And then, at the bottom of this precipice, at the entrance of a dark valley, an enormous building loomed into sight, its towering portal, tightly locked, facing our road.

I realized that we were at the gates of Hell.

Over its gates were inscriptions from the Gospel such as: "Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, which was prepared for the devil and his angels." (Matthew 25: 41) "Every tree that yielded not good fruit, shall be cut down, and shall be cast into the fire." (Matthew 7: 19)
I tried to write them down, but my guide restrained me: "There is no need. You have them all in Holy Scripture. …”

I looked up in terror and saw in the distance someone racing down the path at an uncontrollable speed. … I recognized him as one of my boys. His disheveled hair was partly standing upright on his head and partly tossed back by the wind. His arms were outstretched as though he were thrashing the water in an attempt to stay afloat.

As the boy crashed into the [gate], it sprang open with a roar, and instantly a thousand inner portals opened with a deafening clamor. I saw far into the distance something like furnace jaws sprouting fiery balls the moment the youth hurtled into it. As swiftly as they had opened, the portals then clanged shut again.

Three other boys of ours, screaming in terror and with arms outstretched, were rolling down one behind the other like massive rocks, I recognized them as they too crashed against the portal. In that split second, it sprang open and so did the other thousand. The three lads were sucked into that endless corridor amid a long-drawn, fading, infernal echo, and then the portals clanged shut again. At intervals, many other lads came tumbling down after them. I saw one unlucky boy being pushed down the slope by an evil companion. Others fell singly or with others, arm in arm or side by side. Each of them bore the name of his sin on his forehead.

"Bad companions, bad books, and bad habits," my guide exclaimed, "are mainly responsible for so many eternally lost."

"Then is there no way to save these unfortunate lads?” [I asked] “Please, tell me what I can do for them."
"They have superiors; let them obey them. They have rules; let them observe them. They have the Sacraments; let them receive them."

[His guide then brought him past the 1,000 gates and into Hell, whose walls were inscribed with passages of Scripture, such as]

"These shall go into everlasting punishment." (Matthew 25: 46)
"The pool of fire where both the beast and the false prophet shall be tormented day and night forever and ever." (Apocalypse 20: 9-10)
"And the smoke of their torments shall ascend up forever and ever." (Apocalypse 14: 11)
"There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." (Matthew 8:12)

Ahead of me I could see something like an immense cave which gradually disappeared into recesses sunk far into the bowels of the mountains. They were all ablaze, but theirs was not an earthly fire with leaping tongues of flames. The entire cave --walls, ceiling, floor, iron, stones, wood, and coal -- everything was a glowing white at temperatures of thousands of degrees. Yet the fire did not incinerate, did not consume. I simply can't find words to describe the cavern's horror.

More frightened than ever, I asked my guide, "When these boys come dashing into this cave, don't they know where they are going?"
"They surely do. They have been warned a thousand times, but they still choose to rush into the fire because they do not detest sin and are loath to forsake it. Furthermore, they despise and reject God's incessant, merciful invitations to do penance..."

"If you really want to know their innermost frenzy and fury, go a little closer," my guide remarked.
I took a few steps forward and saw that many of those poor wretches were savagely striking at each other like mad dogs. Others were clawing their own faces and hands, tearing their own flesh and spitefully throwing it about. Just then the entire ceiling of the cave became as transparent as crystal and revealed a patch of Heaven and their radiant companions safe for all eternity.
The poor wretches, fuming and panting with envy, burned with rage because they had once ridiculed the just. ..
 I heard screams and sobs, blasphemies and imprecations against the Saints. It was a tumult of voices and cries, shrill and confused.

"Here time is no more. Here is only eternity."
While I viewed the condition of many of my boys in utter terror, a thought suddenly struck me. "How can these boys be damned?" I asked. "Last night they were still alive at the Oratory!"
"The boys you see here," he answered, "are all dead to God's grace. Were they to die now or persist in their evil ways, they would be damned. But we are wasting time. Let us go on."
…in a lower cavern, at whose entrance I read: "Their worm shall not die, and their fire shall not be quenched." (Isaias 66: 24) I saw more of our boys. Here one could see how atrocious was the remorse of those who had been pupils in our schools. What a torment was their, to remember each unforgiven sin and its just punishment, the countless, even extraordinary means they had had to mend their ways, persevere in virtue, and earn paradise, and their lack of response to the many favors promised and bestowed by the Virgin Mary. What a torture to think that they could have been saved so easily, yet now are irredeemably lost, and to remember the many good resolutions made and never kept. Hell is indeed paved with good intentions!

In this lower cavern I again saw those Oratory boys who had fallen into the fiery furnace. Some are listening to me right now; others are former pupils or even strangers to me. I drew closer to them and noticed that they were all covered with worms and vermin which gnawed at their vitals, hearts, eyes, hands, legs, and entire bodies so ferociously as to defy description. Helpless and motionless, they were a prey to every kind of torment.

"Come inside then," my friend went on, "and see how our good, almighty God lovingly provides a thousand means for guiding your boys to penance and saving them from everlasting death."
Taking my hand, he led me into the cave. As I stepped in, I found myself suddenly transported into a magnificent hall whose curtained glass doors concealed more entrances.
Above one [door] I read this inscription: The Sixth Commandment. Pointing to it, my guide exclaimed, "Transgressions of this commandment caused the eternal ruin of many boys."
"Didn't they go to confession?"
"They did, but they either omitted or insufficiently confessed the sins against the beautiful virtue of purity… …Others were not truly sorry or sincere in their resolve to avoid it in the future... … For a firm resolution, one needs God's grace which will not be denied to your boys if they pray.

Afterward, my guide several times exclaimed in a loud voice, "Avertere! Avertere!"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Change life! "

[In a further cavern my guide explained:] Disobedience is the root of all evil."

"Listen carefully: the boys you see here are those who prepare such a tragic end for themselves by being disobedient. So-and-so and so-and-so, who you think went to bed, leave the dormitory later in the night to roam about the playground… Others, during the day, go to church, but, ignoring recommendations, they misbehave; instead of praying, they daydream or cause a disturbance. There are also those who make themselves comfortable so as to doze off during church services, and those who only make believe they are going to church. Woe to those who neglect prayer! He who does not pray dooms himself to perdition.”
"What advice shall I give [my boys] to safeguard them from such a tragedy?"
"Keep telling them that by obeying God, the Church, their parents, and their superiors, even in little things, they will be saved."

"Warn them against idleness. Because of idleness David fell into sin. Tell them to keep busy at all times, because the devil will not then have a chance to tempt them."

[I was then lead out through the horrible courtyard and the long corridor.] But as soon as we stepped across the last bronze portal, my guide turned to me and said,

"Now that you have seen what others suffer, you too must experience a touch of Hell."

"No, no!" I cried in terror.
“Touch this wall. He said.

[He] seized my hand, forced it open, and pressed it against the first of the thousand walls, [millions of miles away from hell’s real fire]. The sensation was so utterly excruciating that I leaped back with a scream and found myself sitting up in bed. When I got up this morning I noticed that [my hand] was swollen… the skin of my palm peeled off.
Bear in mind that I have tried not to frighten you very much, and so I have not described these things in all their horror as I saw them and as they impressed me. We know that Our Lord always portrayed Hell in symbols because, had He described it as it really is, we would not have understood Him. [END]

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Sunday, February 19, 2017

Photos of Hermitage

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank you very much for your prayers for me these past two weeks. The retreat was very blessed. Being alone with God in solitude, silence, and prayer is excellent medicine for my soul!

I'll say a few words but first some photos:

The valley below the monastery and hermitage. I walked to this point on many days to pray.

Looking the other direction down the valley.
My hermitage was the first door on the right.


Inside the main door is an image our Our Lady with holy water. Meant to be a place to greet Her whenever entering or leaving.

Just inside the main door (my Mass vestments laid out on the left. The hermitage has three levels. This photo taken from middle level.

Chapel door (just inside hermitage)

Chapel in hermitage. I offered Mass here each day (travel crucifix is hidden behind chalice)

Wood burning stove that heats the hermitage on right. In center is what you see below when open...


Small bath.

Sitting area in same room as wood burning stove.

enclosed garden attached to hermitage.

Top floor which has bed and reading desk.


I spent hours each day the reading desk, which had a nice view.

Tray where food was placed for breakfast and dinner. I would walk to kitchen to pick it up each time and then bring it back to eat in hermitage.

Top level of hermitage was a sort of choir loft looking down into chapel. I'm not sure exactly how this space was meant to be used...

Wood in shelter in enclosed garden.

Icicles in garden.

Hermitage entrances viewed from outside (three hermitages in a row).
Looking out window from reading desk.

From same window.

From same window in the morning.





A sunset. I watched these a number of days.

Sunrise.



It was a very blessed retreat. Though I could contact the sisters when necessary I was essentially alone with God for 10 days. While I think that most of the work that God does in a soul is hidden. Here are a few small examples of some of what took place during the retreat (I wrote this and gave it to people at Mass this morning):

This retreat, as it took place in a hermitage, was especially intense in terms of silence and solitude. But those elements are keys of any traditional retreat, even where preaching is given each day. What is the purpose of silence and solitude? To help a soul to “die to itself” and to “die to the world.” By living alone each day with God, where He is the only one you can talk to, the only one you can ask for help (normally—unless you need to ask for help in making the word stove in your hermitage work!), the only one to whom you can listen, etc. etc. a soul tries to open itself more intensely to God’s action. This can take place in many different ways. To give you just two examples:

On the first Thursday evening of the retreat I felt the Lord was asking me to spend much of the next day meditating on His Passion with the help of the Gospels. So that Friday I made four “mini Holy Hours.” Each one was spent trying to read slowly through one of the Gospel accounts of the Passion, or rather trying to “pray through” one of the accounts of the Passion, pausing at different moments to adore Him, thank Him, listen, meditate, etc.

Second example: one evening, Sunday evening in fact, I felt particularly helpless before the Lord. I felt intensely (though no doubt not nearly as intensely as the reality would demand), how incapable of anything I am, how weak, how sinful. I felt the temptation of hopelessness. It was quite painful. Nothing seemed to help. I tried spiritual reading, praying the Divine Office, etc. Finally I simply repeated, over and over again, simple prayers asking for God’s mercy upon me as a sinner, invoking the name of Jesus, and making simple acts of faith, hope, and love in Him. After some time, I felt peace and strength returning. After some further prayer I was able to finish the evening peacefully.


To give one additional example: I felt more keenly on the retreat how much we need prayer, how much we need times alone with God. Of course it is rare, even for priests, to be able to get away to a hermitage. And most laypersons never have that chance. But our souls can be alone with Him, even while in the midst of others at Mass, or while a rosary is prayed in common, or perhaps during a Holy Hour, or 20 minutes that a soul finds by getting up early while the house is still quiet, or in the evening, or by going out for a walk, etc. The devil hates prayer and will do anything he can to stop or diminish it. One such temptation—used frequently I think—is to convince Catholics, to convince priests, that what they need above all are good activities, or good teachings, or any sort of activity. And we do need those things to an extent. But what we need much more is prayer and silence. If the Church only prayed more, if souls had more regular time alone with Him, so many problems would be solved! So many good things would be able to happen.

I've returned with a wonderful peace and joy in my soul. And am ready to now dive into the intense work that will take place between now and Easter!

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari