Your Letters

At a gathering with families.

Dear Friends and Family,

Blessings on this Feast of the Holy Family! Thank you for the letters that many of you sent me (and that finally arrived after the Christmas mail rush) for Christmas. It has been wonderful to read about how you are doing, to smile and laugh hearing some of the stories you all recounted, also to hear about what is painful and difficult, to know what to pray for in your life, and simply to hear from you. I now find myself in the painful situation of realizing that I will be unable to reply to all of your letters, at least not in the near future, and so I wanted to at least let you know through this post that I treasure them and am praying for you all. In a few moments I will head into the Confessional and then will offer the Holy Sacrifice at the altar, and will ask Jesus to convey to each of you much more than I could say with words.

On this Feast of the Holy Family I'll go ahead and share with you today's sermon. If nothing else this should lift your spirits by allowing you to be grateful for the fact that you now can listen to better sermons from another priest!

With fatherly love and prayers,

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Tony Pillari

“Put on therefore as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience. Bear with one another and forgive one another, if anyone has a grievance against any other; even as the Lord has forgiven you, so also do you forgive. But above all these things have charity, which is the bond of perfection. And may the peace of Christ reign in your hearts; unto that peace, indeed, you were called in one body.”

On this Feast of the Holy Family the Church gives us these beautiful words from St. Paul. Do you feel that these words would be an accurate description of your own family? Would you like your family to be such that they would be an accurate description? Because on this day the Holy Family—Jesus, Mary, and Joseph whish to come into your home, into your family’s life, to live with you in your home, to teach you, to guide you, and to strengthen you so that you might live as they lived. And yet often people, even those who come to Mass every Sunday, don’t believe that.

Some say they don’t feel they can relate to the Holy Family; because Jesus, Mary, and Joseph were so good and holy and their family is… not good and holy. I recall a young mother of a large family saying that she found it hard to be close to the Virgin Mary: “After all,” she said, “She was immaculately conceived and so didn’t have some of the temptations and struggles that I do, and She only had one child to raise, and He was always perfectly behaved!” Sadly, in this fashion, many people close their hearts, at least to a degree, to the intimacy and the tremendous help that the Virgin Mary, as well as St. Joseph and the Child Jesus, wish to give—precisely to poor, sinful, struggling families.

If instead we were truly realistic we would have tremendous hope, believing the solemn assurance given in Sacred Scripture: “God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear,” (1 Cor 10:13), “but will make with temptation issue, so that you may be able to bear it.” That is God will always ‘issue’ you the necessary graces to be able to avoid temptation, to avoid sin. This means that every moment of each day God is offering to you, and to each member of your family, the grace to not sin, the grace to be faithful to Him all day long, to live a holy life.

“That’s all very nice,” you may say, “but my family will never take Him up on His offer—do you know the kind of people I have to live with!” And so you think, “because my family is so messed up, or because my religious community is so messed up, the graces of the Holy Family are something I will never touch or experience in this life. It’s not for me, it’s just a sort of fairy-tale.” But God’s promise to always provide you with the graces necessary, every moment of your life, to avoid sin and live a holy life, is not directed only to those who live in families that are already holy. His promise is directed to you personally, no matter how bad your family may be, or how obstinate they may remain. “God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear,” (1 Cor 10:13), “but will make with temptation issue, so that you may be able to bear it.”

God is offering to each one of you, and offers especially to those in particularly difficult family situations, the opportunity to truly have Mary as your mother, St. Joseph as your Father, and an intimate friendship with the Child Jesus. Indeed no matter how good your family may one day become, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph will always be your truest family. The ones your heart is made to be closest to. But they respect your freedom. You have to choose them as your family, and to choose to work at the relationship with them. This means, among other efforts, choosing in a particular way to prioritize prayer. Even if no one else in your family is praying, you should be. And wherever possible the daily effort of the rosary should be done. I cannot emphasize enough how crucial the daily family rosary is and how many graces it brings into the home.

But it is not only efforts and sacrifices in the area of prayer that are needed. St. Bernard touches on another key effort that anyone in a family must make if they wish to nourish a relationship with the Holy Family, and at last remove some of the bitter taste of sin and disappointment which comes from trying to live according to the world’s ways. This crucial area is obedience. Saint Bernard urges us to this commenting on the incredible submission of God to a human mother and father. If children find it hard to obey their parents because they feel they might know better than their parents what should be done, look at Son of God who knew infinitely more, and yet who chose to obey a human mother and father. Saint Bernard says:

o   “This is your lesson, man: obedience. Formed of the earth as you are, learn subjection. Dust that you are, learn to bend your will. In speaking of your Creator the Evangelist says, “And He was subject to them,” meaning Mary and Joseph, of course. Blush for shame, proud ashes! When God humbles Himself, will you exalt yourself? When God subjects Himself to Men, will you set yourself above your Creator by flaunting your desire to dominate men? If I should ever have such thoughts, may God in His mercy say to me what He said when rebuking His apostle: “Get behind me, Satan; you have no grasp of the things of God.” Every time I desire to be above Men I am trying to move ahead of God. And in this I certainly have no grasp of the things of God; for of Him it was said, “And He was subject to them.” You may balk at imitating the example of Men, being a Man yourself; but certainly you will not think it beneath your dignity to imitate your Creator.”

Prayer and obedience: two crucial pillars to the holiness that God is calling you to within your own family. Two areas where you need to personally get to work, and be willing to work hard. But God also calls you to hope, to have great hope, in what the Holy Family can do, through your efforts, for your own family. One day, when the Devil was attacking the Curé of Ars, beating him physically because of how many souls the Curé was snatching from his hands, from the path to hell, the Devil cried out in frustration, “If there were three men like you in France I could do nothing in this country!” Such is the power of a holy soul.

There were two young children who, after hearing this episode in the Curé’s life told in the course of a conference, came up to the speaker afterwards and said “we want to be the other two Curé of Ars!” What if God were to find your own soul, whether you are a child or an adult, ready now to begin to embrace holiness—to truly work hard and make sacrifices in the areas of daily prayer and obedience, so that His grace could begin to permeate your life? So that you might begin to have a divine friendship with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph? When one soul goes through a conversion it will often have an effect on the whole family.

Pope Leo XIII assures us, in his apostolic letter on the Holy Family: “When their help is asked for, Jesus, Mary and Joseph will be present within the home, fostering charity, guiding conduct, and stimulating to virtue by their example. And by alleviating those hardships which everywhere harass mortal men, they will make them more bearable.” What beautiful promises: “When their help is asked for, Jesus, Mary and Joseph will be present within the home, … and by alleviating those hardships which everywhere harass mortal men, they will make them more bearable.”

As we prepare now to enter into the heart of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, may the Holy Family be by your side to help you to left the eyes of your soul to God with great faith and hope in what He wishes to offer you, in what He wishes to offer your family.

I will leave you with a portion of St. Paul’s words to the Colossians, the beginning of which the Church gives us in today’s epistle:

Col 3:12 – 4:2: “Put on therefore as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience. Bear with one another and forgive one another, if anyone has a grievance against any other; even as the Lord has forgiven you, so also do you forgive. But above all these things have charity, which is the bond of perfection. And may the peace of Christ reign in your hearts; unto that peace, indeed, you were called in one body. Show yourselves thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you abundantly: in all wisdom teach and admonish one another by psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing in your hearts to God by His grace. Whatever you do in word or work, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is becoming in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter towards them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for that is pleasing in the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, that they may not be discouraged…. Be assiduous in prayer, being wakeful therein with thanksgiving.”