Italia

My Sister (now Mrs. Patrick Whitmore!), her husband Patrick, my two Brothers and I after the Wedding

Dear Friends and Family,

Though the above photo was not taken in Italy, Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Whitmore will providentially be in Rome for part of their honeymoon some of the same days I'll be there later this month, so I'll get to see them in Rome. Right at the moment I'm doing something much less glamorous which is: lying sick in bed. My host family is graciously picking up some antibiotics which should knock out the bronchitis I have (in the past antibiotics have always made short work of this so I assume I'll be up and about quite quickly). After arriving in Italy 48 hours ago I am spending this first week with a family just outside of Florence. The Carmel in England is majority Italian so the language will come in very handy for hearing the sister's Confessions. This weekend's "courses" consisted mainly of talking with the children and listening to them, preaching in Italian, and sleeping. Filippo (age 7) is eager to play soccer so hopefully I'll be doing that with him later this week once I'm closer to full strength. He's also eager to have me watch tomorrow evening's "Italy v. Belgium" in the European cup. It's sort of a national event here and probably good for me to get a sense of--not to mention fun to watch--so I'll plan on doing that tomorrow evening. Two of the little girls, ages 5 and 6, have a "dance recital" tonight which they invited me to. I told them I'd have to take a rain check but will hope to see them dance at home this coming week.

From Wednesday to Friday I had 48 hours in London to meet with several people and make practical arrangements for this coming year. I stayed a few blocks away from the London Oratory and celebrated daily Mass there. It is truly a beautiful church. Take a few moments and take a look here: http://www.bromptonoratory.co.uk/church-tours#s-mary-magdalene  .  More importantly the priests there (9 of them) are well known for reverent liturgy, beautiful sacred music, and good pastoral programs. It is perhaps the most important parish in London and boasts the availability of Confession almost all-day every day. Was nice to see.

Perhaps the most interesting meeting in London was with John Smeaton, head of the Society for the Protection of Unborn Children (SPUC), and Maria Madise, who helps run Voice of the Family. SPUC is the oldest pro-life organization in the world, having begun in the 1960's, and the key organization for all of England (not to mention other parts of the world--for example John gave a talk this past year in Ohio at the request of pro-life groups there). John has been involved in SPUC almost from the very beginning. Both he and Maria were fascinating people to talk with and I think are doing very important work. Will look forward to getting to know them better in England.

Beyond that, the airlines managed to send all of my luggage to Detroit instead of London. Thankfully the luggage arrived before I had to fly to Italy. Between working out the luggage (or lack thereof) situation and making arrangements for a good deal on a used car--which was more involved than I thought but seems to have come to a happy conclusion thanks to some expert advise from a devout Catholic mechanic in the London area--and now getting sick, it has been a draining, but very blessed, past week. On that note I had best sign off and get some rest.

Please know that you each--whether you be in Texas, Ohio, Canada, or elsewhere--are in my heart and prayers. As I offered Mass a few hours ago I was thinking--as I so often do--how I miss the altar boys and others I prayed with daily in Texas. Missing you all but praying for you!

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Anthony Pillari

To those in Texas

Playing with my Nieces and Nephews while Visiting Home

Dear Friends and Family,

This past week was a very beautiful one and included my little sister's wedding, which was wonderful in a way that I find hard to put into words for a blog. So I think it's best not to try at this point. I will simply say that it was such a blessing to see her, and a wonderful Catholic man named Patrick, pronounce their marriage vows. I hesitate to write more because I don't think I would have words that would be adequate... and also because I saw most of you who are local in the course of this past week. Hence, I would like to write now to all those in Texas.

Here again it is hard for me to find adequate words, but I feel I should at least try since this is my main means of communication with you all, besides the exchange of letters. I arrived home a week ago to find the beautiful hand-written book that you all created and sent to me. May God reward you! It arrived at just the right time. In 36 hours I will be on a plane for Europe and likely will not be back in the U.S. until next May. You all have been very much on my mind and in my prayers. It is a hard sacrifice to not be able to see you in person, or to pray with you, or to offer the Sacraments to you, or to counsel you, or to laugh and play with your children, or simply to see your smiling faces... I really miss you all.

Upon finding your book I sat down on the floor of my bedroom and slowly paged through the beautiful notes. Your words were very kind. It gives me great hope when I realize what God can do through even a very imperfect priest. But it especially helped to make each of you present, along with so many fond memories. In many ways you all taught me what it is to be a priest, for I learned how to be a priest in the course of the past 8 years in your midst. No doubt I still have very much to learn. But no matter what my future may hold, you all will always be the first Confessions I heard, the first altar boys I formed, the first babies I baptized, the first little girls I tried to help grow spiritually, the first families I tried to lead closer to Jesus, the first for so many, many things...

In addition to receiving your book I was blessed this past week to see one of your families up here in Ohio! It was so good to see again some of the children! They told me how many of you are praying for me daily, and a good number of you have told me the same through your letters. There is no better gift that I could ask for. As I set off for Europe I have a deep peace that this apostolate and study abroad are what the Lord is asking of me for this coming year, and perhaps beyond this coming year though time will tell. But I can also feel in my stomach the nervousness of stepping off into the unknown--in a sense of journeying as a pilgrim whose job it is to try to follow his Lord, but who doesn't really know just what lies around the next bend. It is an immense comfort to know that you all are praying for me. I wish I could convey to you how much that means to me and more importantly how much that helps me.

How many times during the day--for example when I am counseling someone in the Confessional, is it in fact thanks to your all's prayers that provides the light and grace, or strength, courage and peace that I need to be faithful to what Jesus is asking of me? Only in Heaven will I really know, but I suspect it is quite often.

Well, given some unexpected changes for these next 36 hours (a priest is flying in from Italy to give me a workshop tomorrow (on his way to other locations in the U.S.) that will be intense and that was unforeseen), I have to find a way to pack and take care of loose ends rather quickly so I had best end this post. Please receive my heartfelt gratitude for all that you are giving me, your kind words in the book you sent being I know just a sign of much more, and please be assured of may daily prayers for you all.

Well then, all systems are go for takeoff.... Duc in altum!

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Anthony Pillari

Thanksgiving

The Ottawa Canal as Sunset Approaches

Dear Friends and Family,

It is now 6:30AM Sunday morning. In a little bit I'll head into the Confessional, offer the Holy Sacrifice, and then assist as subdeacon with the Solemn High Mass and procession for Corpus Christi, which will include 18 children receiving their first Holy Communion. A wonderful Sunday indeed! And as soon as that beautiful celebration finishes I'll hop in the car to drive back to Cleveland for a week with my family, and then it's on to Italy for a month.

But I'd like to simply say a few words in thanksgiving in this post. There are so many, many things to thank the Lord for in this post.

For starters I was very blessed to be living next to a beautiful old church where He was always ready to welcome me for a visit. I especially appreciated coming into the church early each morning--walking outside and feeling the cool crisp air, the fresh smell of the morning, and then unlocking the church and heading in to kneel down and greet Him to begin the day, placing the day in our Lady's hands and asking Her to guide and bless that day's events.

It was a particular blessing to be able to offer the sacrifice in such a reverent setting each day, to be able to hear Confessions, preach, accompany some people in spiritual direction, visit some families, join in the march for life, help with sick calls, and so on. The parish was quite welcoming to me and I am very grateful for that. May God bless each of you who went out of your way to make me feel at home.

On another level I am extremely grateful to the Lord for guiding me through these past 2 1/2 months of studies. They were challenging! It was rather exhausting and I'll admit that I'm glad to have about 6 weeks where the studies won't be too demanding--I'll be mainly working on Italian in Italy and trying to read through four books in Italian on the Index of Forbidden Books (for use in my JCL thesis).  So it will be nice to have a break from formal courses and testing. But the studies were very good. Perhaps the most interesting for me were the civil law studies. My main courses this year are Contracts, Criminal Law, and Torts (law suits). Each week I felt I was discovering more how our society and government works. And from the point of view of analytical thinking the constant writing and examination involved keeps pushing me to refine, over and over again, my analytical skills. The professors are constantly pushing us to be more precise and careful in our use of language, and to analyze real-life problems. Interestingly the main principles of what we are learning date back to the middle ages. In a sense learning the common law tradition is a constant exercise at looking at basic problems of human relations and then examining how rules can best be developed. I can see now why people study law as a preparation for government.

At any rate all of that is to say that I am very grateful to the Lord for guiding me to such good courses and for the fact that they are constantly pushing me outside of my comfort zone.

Finally (as I need to now wind up this post in order to get ready for Mass and head into the Confessional), I am grateful for all the blessings and graces that I am not aware of from these past 2 1/2 months. Most of the time the Lord's graces are hidden from our eyes, so no doubt He blessed me in a thousand different ways which I am not aware of. For that I wish to express my gratitude. And my eagerness to follow Him now as I head to Europe. But before then it will be nice to have a week with my family!

May Jesus and Mary bless each of you abundantly.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Anthony Pillari

Canadian Parliament

Dear Friends and Family,

This past week was a very intense one for studies. One more week to go for this semester! It will be an intense one but the finish line is in sight and I think I can make my deadlines before I have to leave Ottawa next Sunday. Providentially I will have the great joy, thanks to Fr. Deprey's generosity, of being the celebrant for this Thursday evening's Corpus Christi Solemn High Mass and procession, and then of assisting in some way (as sub-deacon or deacon), at this Sunday's 10:30 Solemn High Mass for the first Holy Communion of 18 children. Seems like a particular blessing that the first solemn high Mass I offered here was on Holy Thursday and the last solemn high Mass will be Corpus Christi. I have to head to the Confessional in just a minute and then celebrate the evening Mass so I'll need to make this post quick....

After Mass with the local mafia.... actually with some of the young men who serve or help chant, including Justin in the wheelchair who keeps the choir in line with his signing in the congregation!

With Deacon Jim Scheer inside Canada's Parliament

This Wednesday I had a brief respite from studies in order to join Deacon Jim Scheer for lunch at Canada's Parliament. If you ever are in Ottawa and have a chance to meet the good deacon, don't miss the chance! He's an encyclopedia of knowledge, has a great sense of humor, and more importantly is a devout Catholic. His son Andrew Scheer was the speaker of the House (at the ripe age of 32), but is now the "minority speaker" of the House since his party is not in power (if I am using the Canadian terminology correctly).

Deacon Scheer invited me for lunch in the dining room for the members of the House and Senate. It was quite interesting to learn the ins and outs of Canadian government, mostly rather sad ins and outs of late in terms of legislation. In fact while we were there they were taking the final steps in passing their "Assisted-Dying" bill which will be truly horrible. Please pray for the poor Catholic doctors and nurses who will be in a particularly awful situation. After speaking briefly to some members of parliament in the course of our meal, and then receiving a tour of the building, it brought home how much depends on each individual conscience. I usually tend to think of these awful laws being passed in our countries as taking place "far away." But after shaking the hands of those involved in making these decisions, and in some cases getting a glimpse into their personal lives, it brought home in a whole new way the need to pray for those in government. Some of them have been heroic in fighting for the pro-life cause and continue to do so. Others are perhaps wavering. Others are in need of conversion. And all are very "real" people with families, personal lives, and souls to be saved.

I have to head now to the Confessional.... I'll finish by saying that with the beautiful spring weather we've been having here and all the flowers in bloom it smells wonderful! It's been a while since I've lived in a moist part of the world where there are flowers and plants in bloom in such abundance. Some days ago I walked outside and thought: "someone must have sprayed perfume out here." But then the same thing happened the next day and the next... and I realized it was just God's gift to us through the wonderful smells of the plants He created.

Blessings on this Trinity Sunday! I will be holding all of you in my heart in a particular way this Corpus Christi Thursday and then Sunday during the first Holy Communions, thinking especially of all the children I have had the blessing of giving first Holy Communion to. May Jesus and Mary watch over them all and protect them. I will be praying that the Lord guide them and strengthen them.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Anthony Pillari

Heading to England

Canadian March for Life in the midst of 22,000 people. Bearded gentleman to the right is Michael O'Brien, the author,
whom I had the pleasure of meeting.

Dear Friends and Family,

Blessings on this feast of Pentecost! This week—which is the Octave of Pentecost in the traditional calendar—is one of my favorite times of the liturgical year. I’ll be praying for you all in a special way, asking the Lord to strengthen you with all the graces you need for your particular missions in life.

There would be much to say about this past week: the Canadian March for Life, a visit to the Apostolic Nuncio, a major exam, etc. but I wanted to post here a wonderful blessing that I will have for this coming year. This July, after a brief visit in June with my family and then a month in Italy for studies, I’ll be heading to England. After much prayer and discernment, and with the advice of my spiritual director, I believe this is what the Lord is asking of me for this coming year.

In January I had the blessing of meeting with Cardinal Burke in Rome. He graciously took a lot of time—much more time than I would have expected—to learn about my situation, spiritual life, past studies, etc. and to then advise me. I essentially asked him to advise me on how and where I could best serve the Church today. He proposed several options, one of which is the F.S.S.P. whom I have had the blessing of spending the past two months with here (and as a quick aside, it has been a wonderful past two months and I look forward to being here again next spring!). At the top of the Cardinal’s list though was a place I had never considered: England.

There is a traditional Carmel in the Diocese of Plymouth, located at Lanherne near Newquay. You can see a brief video of the nuns and monastery here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8P-_25Y5Rjc  (you will notice that the habits are not Carmelite because at the time the nuns were Franciscans of the Immaculate, before re-founding the Carmel). The Cardinal knows well the mother superior and thinks highly of her. He also spoke highly of their young bishop. He felt that it might be a good situation for my apostolate and prayer life, as well as a good place to continue my studies. For that was the other thing he encouraged me to do: to continue advanced studies.

I spent three weeks in February and March visiting the Carmel and meeting with Bishop O’Toole. The visit went very well. The Bishop would be quite happy to have a priest dedicated to the traditional Mass and Sacraments—one who could not only offer Mass and Confession for the sisters but who also could offer traditional Baptism, last rites, traditional weddings, etc. to those in the diocese seeking the traditional Sacraments. I was impressed with the fact that he wanted me to prioritize whatever would be best for my own discernment, spiritual life, and studies. He spoke of several possibilities for apostolates in the diocese if I wished to do more apostolic work, but simply offered those as options.

After a good deal of prayer and discernment, and after discussing the matter with my spiritual director, I feel a great peace that the Lord is calling me to England for this coming year. Several other options emerged but this seems to be God’s will.

It should be a great place for prayer and study. The Carmel is located in a tiny village. The whole diocese is quite rural, with Catholics making up only 1.8% of the population, and with most of the rest of the population seeming to be irreligious rather than belonging to any religion. Hence there would also be much to be done in the way of evangelization. But for this coming year my primary objectives will be to: 1) pray—always the first priority, 2) offer the Sacraments to the sisters, and perhaps at some point give a few talks to them on St. Thomas or some such topic, 3) study: this will likely take up most of Monday – Friday. Thanks to the wonders of online education, and the flexibility of graduate research, I will, God-willing, be completing this coming year the J.C.L. degree and also the first year of the J.D., in view of passing the State of California’s “mini-bar exam” this June (also called the “First Year Law Student Exam” that students take after their first year of law school). I’ll write more at some point about the J.D. but so far it’s been both very challenging and educational. My first year law professor (more like a tutor who assists), has a private practice and can be found here: http://kathleenreaganlaw.com . She specializes in equine law and second amendment rights. I told her she should move to Texas! Having some ministry on the weekends to young families in the Diocese of Plymouth sounds very nice and is healthy for my own priestly life—I’ve found here that regular ministry, in the midst of intense studies, certainly helps to keep me focused on the salvation of souls and grounded in reality.

Even though when I headed to Rome in January England had not crossed my mind, I feel very much at peace that this is what God is asking of me for this coming year and am grateful for the opportunity. To not make this blog post too long I should probably end it here, but just a few quick points before I go.

I wish to say a special word of gratitude to those of you who have been supporting me financially as I begin this time of studies. Your help has been invaluable so far and will be helping in a particular way to make this next year possible. The Carmel is very poor. Though the mother superior offered to provide me with whatever I needed for this coming year they are really poor and have a number of needs that they need to find funds for. In that light I told them I would take care of all my own expenses for this coming year. I think if I did otherwise the Lord might either strike me with lightning or assign me an extra 1,000 years in Purgatory. Both of which I would really rather avoid… Given the poverty of their situation, and the priest’s quarters, I may have a few additional expenses this coming year such as office equipment or some furniture, but thanks to your generosity those things should be doable. May the Lord reward you for all that you are doing to make not only my studies possible but also this year of service to these nuns.

Lastly, this schedule will likely mean that I will not be able to return for a visit in Texas until next spring. That is a real sacrifice for me. I miss you all very much, but will have to wait to see you until probably next April or May. Until then, you will continue to be in my daily prayers!

I’d best sign off now, but will plan to continue writing you each week and telling you all about England when I arrive.

May Our Lady, the Spouse of the Holy Spirit, obtain for you an abundance of graces throughout this Octave of Pentecost.

In Corde Mariae,

Fr. Anthony Pillari

Mothers' Day Sermon

Dear Friends and Family,

To all the good mothers I know: a very happy and blessed Mothers' Day! You will be in my prayers in a particular way as I offer the Holy Sacrifice this evening. Mothers are such wonderful blessings on the earth. I think we could never give thanks enough for the gift of mothers.

I recorded this morning's homily in case anyone has trouble falling asleep and needs something to listen to:  https://clyp.it/svkq5251 . I'm not sure it was a particularly good homily, and to boot the recording quality is not that great, but perhaps it will give those of you far away a tiny glimpse of the parish I'm in: Sunday announcements, French and English, baby noise in the background and all.

Since the audio is a bit long (though the second half is in French), I'll simply write in this blog simply on the topic of how a sermon is prepared. Have you ever wondered how a priest prepares his Sunday homilies? For myself Sunday homilies develop in a variety of ways. In general though each one begins with some prayer at the beginning of the week, essentially asking God the question: what would you like me to preach about this coming Sunday? In my case I like to also ask the Virgin Mary directly that question: what would you like me to preach about? I've found that She is quite helpful for this.

This week the result of those prayers was the thought that it could be good to center the homily around two different elements:

1. The similarities between the Virgin Mary with her "children" (the Apostles and disciples) gathered around Her in prayer, preparing to face a hostile world (which is what took place during these 9 days between the Ascension and Pentecost), and mothers today and their children, who are also preparing to face a hostile world.

2. (in French) the call to spiritual maternity for all those women who either don't have children or are unmarried.

After the initial idea then there is the whole process of fleshing it out--perhaps researching texts if they are involved: Scripture, saints' writings, etc.--and then developing an outline or writing it out. Sometimes something develops in this process which is different, and hopefully better, than what I first planned on. In this case I felt I should write the whole sermon out, especially since half of it would be in French. After praying some more on it during the week and reflecting on different aspects of the sermon, I began developing the outline Friday morning. That took perhaps 90 - 120 minutes. Then I spent most of the rest of the day writing it out. I was hoping to do it in less time but it took a lot longer than I thought. To be honest I was not very happy with it, and kept needing to come back to some sections, to delete others, etc. in the hopes of having it come across clearly, trying to choose language carefully to fit people's situations, rewriting a section if it didn't seem to convey what the Lord would want said, etc. And doing this in French of course took longer due to the language.

You might think: all of that work for a sermon that is nothing special? yep... and then yesterday I spent perhaps another hour reading it through it and making a few more adjustments. Then this morning in prayer I read through it a last time, and adapted a few items. So that's one way that a Sunday sermon develops, at least for me!

May the Lord grant special graces to all the good mothers I have known as a priest-and to all those mothers I have yet to meet.

In Corde Mariae,
Fr. Anthony Pillari

The Smallest Among Us

Ontario Lake: one of many!

Dear Friends and Family,

Happy Feast of St. Joseph! The Feast of St. Joseph the Worker is such an important feast that in the traditional calendar it takes precedence even over a Sunday Mass. So since this year May 1st fell on a Sunday I had the blessing of celebrating this morning a high Mass for the feast of St. Joseph. It was wonderful to offer the Holy Sacrifice for all in need of St. Joseph's patronage, but especially for all men and all fathers of families in particular. At the end of Mass we exposed the Blessed Sacrament and I had the double-joy of giving benediction. The altar was nicely decorated and it was a joy to kneel for some moments looking up at the Lord, adoring Him, and then to grant benediction.

I had a nice 36-hour break from studies this week. On Thursday afternoon, after morning classes, I drove a few hours west to the area near Barry's Bay. The above photo is one of many beautiful lakes in Ontario. I took the photo from the edge of a playing field where I had the blessing of playing... ultimate frisbee! 

I had traveled to the Barry's Bay area to meet with a pro-life family. After celebrating Mass for them and having dinner the kids offered me a chance to play ultimate frisbee. So, thanks to an extra pair of gym-clothes lent by the father of the family and some hiking boots I'd brought along, I headed down to this large field and spent a good hour running around with about 10 young men and the dad, chasing down and throwing frisbees. It was a lot of fun. Moreover I was impressed with the attitude of the young men. Sports is often a "moment of truth" when even in the best of us the desire to win can bring to the surface some vices that we thought had been stamped out... But this game was played in a very good spirit. As we were preparing to head down to the field an 18-year old told me, "When we play we try to get the younger ones involved too. For example we try to pass to the 6 year-old who is playing. Ultimate frisbee is a good game because you wind up passing to everyone and getting everyone involved," etc. 

This made for quite a fun game. I think in the end my team lost by 1 point (10-9 I think), but we played until the sun went down and we couldn't see anymore, and then reluctantly headed home. After talking late into the night with the parents, the next day I offered Mass again and then spent time talking with various members of the family, and learned a game called "Wahoo" which involved marbles and a wooden board with a bunch of holes in it. It was a very enjoyable visit. More importantly it allowed me to connect with the good pro-life work being done in Canada.

If you are not already familiar with LifeSite News I really encourage you to make a habit of checking their site (not updated though on Sunday's or Mondays as their staff takes a break): https://www.lifesitenews.com.  With 60 million visitors a year it spreads the pro-life message to many, many people. I have also found it quite helpful for its reporting on current events in the Church as well as issues such as the struggle for marriage or religious liberty in the U.S. I have been particularly impressed by the way the site combines charity and truth. It can be easy to either try to be charitable at the expense of proclaiming hard truths (which in the end is not being charitable), or to communicate hard truths and toss charity out the window (which in the end winds up not being fully truthful as it often criticizes too quickly before discovering the truth). 

After hours of discussing current issues with my gracious hosts, I took some time to visit the Madonna House "Island Chapel" which some of you would be familiar with. I prayed for you there! I had some time for adoration, a rosary walk in the crisp clean country air, and a brief visit to Our Lady Seat of Wisdom Academy http://www.seatofwisdom.org . 

Then I hopped in the car to drive back to Ottawa, joined in a  local "Hike for Life" with the parish young-adult group Saturday morning, and then got back to studies.

I hope your weekend was blessed. I was praying for you all this morning! and will be praying for all mothers in a special way next Sunday.

Until then, may Our Lady watch over each of you.

In Corde Mariae,
Fr. Anthony Pillari