Week of Study and Prayer in Wales

Chapel on the coast.

Old wooden roof of chapel on the coast.

It was beautiful watching the waves from up here.

Dear Friends and Family,

This past week was spent in solitude--praying and studying on a small farm near the west coast of Wales, just a 10 minute drive from the coast you see in the photos above. It was indeed blessed week, so thank you for your prayers! Being alone with God is so refreshing for me, in body and soul. This past week helped me become more deeply aware of how good God is, how truly wonderful He is, and of how miserable, weak, and sinful I am. There's a real peace and joy that comes from being more deeply aware of both of these things.

A few days of the week I drove to the national park you see in the photos above and spent time hiking the coast for an hour or so, or simply sitting on top of the "Mynt"--("mountain" in Welsh, I am told)--where the last photo above was taken from. It was wonderful to sit there and listen to the waves crashing on the shore, and to watch the powerful rhythm of them throwing foam and mist high into the air, as they broke upon the rocks. I looked out over the ocean, which from that height appeared to be relatively calm and still. And yet the water was moving powerfully all throughout the ocean, but only broke the surface visibly in these powerful waves crashing upon the shore. I thought of how God's action in the soul is so much like that. The vast majority of the time He is acting powerfully but very quietly, where we don't see Him or feel Him tangibly. But if we turn our hearts towards His hidden, powerful presence, then our souls can be moved by Him and, when the time is right--according to His perfect will--He can cause powerful "waves of His grace" to burst forth externally.

I sat there for some time admiring the beauty and sound of the waves breaking, and also contemplating the lush green fields along the coast, dotted with cows or sheep. And I watched some seagulls (or some type of white birds), flying over the waters along the coast, gliding peacefully far above the waves. So many beautiful sights to help the mind think of the beauty and majesty of God, and of all He has done for us on the earth, and of all that He does in our souls.

I also did some jogging along country roads, but mostly I was happy to stay put all day in the home at the farm, praying and studying. And this past week involved a lot of studying. I read through, and took notes on, the almost 700 page treatise of St. Robert Bellarmine on the papacy. It was quite interesting and should be helpful for the doctoral dissertation. To give you just one small quote, at one point he says this:

“Just as it is licit to resist the Pontiff that aggresses the body, it is also licit to resist the one who aggresses souls or who disturbs civil order, or above all, who attempts to destroy the Church. I say that it is licit to resist him by not doing what he orders and by preventing his will from being executed; it is not licit, however, to judge, punish or depose him, since these acts are proper to a superior.” (De Romano Pontifice, Book II, chapter 29)

A key section of his analyzed a previous treatise written by the famous Cajetan around 1500. I will need to also read what Cajetan wrote, but his book is very hard to find. Thankfully, two priest-friends located a copy in the Blackfriars convent at Oxford. So Saturday, on my way back to Lanherne, I stopped by Oxford to consult the book there, and to make some copies of the important sections.

Blackfriars' reading room where I was able to consult the book.

Blackfriars' chapel.

I must say that the architecture at Oxford helps bring you back to the middle ages! It was a beautiful library to read in, and was even more beautiful walking down the old streets. I will likely need to return at some point to access the library for research, and hope to then plan an overnight trip in order to also study a bit the historic town.

But it is wonderful to now be back at Lanherne. God has blessed me far more than I deserve with this place so favorable to prayer.

May Jesus and Mary guide you and watch over you, and grant you this Friday a blessed celebration of the 100th anniversary of the miracle of the sun at Fatima!

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari

Pilgrimage in Texas

Fishing - last Sunday.

Dear Friends and Family, especially those of you in Texas!

At long last I will have the joy of coming back for a visit to see you in person this November. It will be so very good to see you all again. You should soon see flyers for a pilgrimage the weekend of Nov. 11 - 12 circulating. But I wanted to already give you the essential information.

Pilgrimage to Shiner Texas

for the

Holy Souls in Purgatory

Holy Sacrifice of the Mass offered by

Fr. Tony Pillari, J.C.L.

The Pilgrimage begins with a rosary novena for repose of the souls of the departed members of your family. The novena is to be prayed in the home, as a family, from Nov. 2^nd – Nov. 10^th.

At 9AM on Nov. 11^th there will be a tour of the historic painted church of Sts. Cyril and Methodius, followed by time to prepare for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

The 10AM Missa Cantata for the Feast of St. Martin of Tours will be offered by Fr. Pillari for the repose of the souls of the departed members of your family.

Mass will be followed by a talk or presentation by Fr. Pillari. Feel free to bring your own lunch. Water will be provided. Please RSVP for this event. etc…. To RSVP, providing the number of attendees and names of family members to be remembered in the Mass, or for further information, please email oimmaculata@gvtc.com (deadline for registration is Thursday Nov. 9th).

I really hope that many of you can make this offering for the holy souls in purgatory, especially those of your own family. In addition, I will be offering the Holy Sacrifice at St. Mary's Cathedral in Austin, TX, on Sunday Nov. 12th. Information below:

Missa Cantata

Sunday Nov. 12th 3:30PM

 at 

St. Mary's Cathedral

203 East 10th Street

Austin, TX 78701

Extended Reception to Follow

For further information, or to RSVP, please email thebehnkes@gmail.com by Friday Nov. 10th, indicating the number of people who will be attending.  

This past week was full of blessings--the chief one being the first Confessions of two children here. It has been a joy to help prepare them and to then see them make their first holy Confession. Now, on to preparations for First Holy Communion!

Please pray for me this coming week. I will be spending a week of prayer and study in a cabin in Wales. As most of you know, my soul finds refreshment and strength especially from times alone with God. I pray this will be a fruitful week with Him.

May Jesus and Mary guide and you and protect you.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari

Fishing or Monopoly?

Hiking to our fishing hole...

Each of us stood on the rocks like this to fish.

James casting...

The ocean.

Dear Friends and Family,

Fishing or Monopoly? This was the question to be decided the afternoon.... Given the hard work the young men have put into serving at the altar at Lanherne I wanted to join them for an afternoon game. They said their favorite game was Monopoly. However they also had a real love for fishing and wanted to take me fishing. So we decided... that it would depend on the weather. Though the day began raining, it cleared up enough for us to go fishing. I think it was the first time in 30 years that I had fished, and had only probably fished twice in my life before that.

Wesley was kind enough to show me how to put the rod together and cast. So I spent a while casting from the rocks into the ocean, and twice had pretty good bites on my line! The pole bent rather forcefully as I tried to reel the fish in... but then lost him. None the less it was quite nice to watch the guys fish (they did catch several), and to simply look at the ocean.

Earlier this week I headed to London for a bit more than 24 hours for a clergy conference. I had the blessing at staying at the Brompton Oratory, a small oasis in the midst of London. A quiet, beautiful, and peaceful place for prayer.

Brompton Oratory at 6AM, when all is quiet and I was able to spend an hour in prayer.

Looking back from the altar.

The clergy conference was, unfortunately, on the topic of the "gender education" being pushed in England's schools. But it was a good conference, and a good opportunity to meet other priests. The rest of the afternoon and evening, and the next morning, was largely spent offering spiritual directions and then the next afternoon I flew back to Newquay.

By now, many of you will probably have seen that I signed the correctio fialis. I think the document speaks for itself, and is very much in line with what St. Thomas indicates for such a situation, so I won't comment on it further here, other than to say I am very much at peace about signing.

This coming Wednesday I'll have the wonderful blessing of hearing the first Confessions of two children I have been preparing. If you have a chance, please say a prayer for Matthew and Trinity!

May Jesus and Mary watch over you.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari

23 Years ago on this September 17th...

One of thousands of apples ripening in our orchard.

Various views of the orchard.

Add caption

Dear Friends and Family,

We are abundantly blessed with apples. Around 5,000 of them. Maybe more. If anyone reading this would like to pick some, please let me know! Fr. George Roth, FI did a splendid job developing the orchard in the decade prior to my arrival. Not only that, he and the brothers here developed an annual ritual of making cider--a lot of cider--from the apples. So these past two years I have been faced with a challenge: I'm afraid that making cider is not my forte, and as one priest, as opposed to the previous two priests and a brother living here, it would not be feasible to take the time to do so, even if my skills were up for the challenge. Last year a variety of people were the beneficiaries of the apples, including 79 year-old Fr. George, who will be coming by next week to once again pick apples. Other beneficiaries included local folks who make cider. We have an abundant crop this year. I think they will be put to good use. But there will likely still be many good apples to spare. So if you are in the area and have a good use for some apples, please let us know.

Tomorrow, September 17th, always brings back an important memory for me: the memory of kneeling in one of the chapels at the University of Notre Dame, where I was a student, and making my consecration to Jesus through Mary for the very first time. Why Sept. 17th? Because I was too impatient to wait for a later Marian feast day.

That summer I had been attending weekly young-adult prayer meetings at a friend's home in Bay Village. At some point either I asked about, or someone proposed, a good book that would help me get to know the Virgin Mary better. I had been reading a few books that summer, trying to get to know Her better. Michele said, "True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis de Montfort. You have to read it!" To be honest, my first reaction one was "If the author has this long funny-sounding French name the book probably won't be too appealing." However, I accepted the book and took a look through it and some of the endorsements. It didn't take me long to decide I should read it, and then didn't take me long to decide I needed to do the 33-day preparation recommended by St. Louis (whose book was quite engaging, regardless of his long name!). It was recommended that you start the 33 days so that you end on a feast day. I was two days late to start for the Feast of Our Lady's Sorrowful Heart (Sept. 15th), but I didn't want to put it off and figured it would still be valid, so I went ahead.

I still remember doing the nightly prayers and readings in preparation. One week during August my family went on vacation to Hilton Head. I remember pulling away to the porch, where it was quieter, at night, to do my nightly prayers from St. Louis. And then finally the day came.

To be honest I can't remember at all the details of, or anything memorable about, the consecration itself. What I do know is that just a few weeks later I would discover my vocation to be a priest, through Our Lady's presence and intercession. That book is such an amazing treasure, especially the simple formulation that is at the heart of it:

"Try to do everything by Mary, with Mary, in Mary, and for Mary." St. Louis promised that this was the shortest, safest, and easiest way to arrive at a close union with Jesus. The words are very true! Even though I do an atrocious job of living this out, She has helped me more than I could ever say.

May She watch over each of you--and over me!--tomorrow and each day.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari

"Playing before Him all the while..."

Votive candles burning before the Blessed Sacrament altar this evening.

Dear Friends and Family,

This evening we're in the midst of an octave of Masses in honor of the nativity of the Virgin Mary--a beautiful Carmelite tradition. It is beautiful to think of our Lady as a little baby, and then as a little girl.

The Mass for the Feast of Her birth has these words in the first reading: "...I was His delight day by day, playing before Him all the while, playing on the surface of His earth..." There is something truly playful about the birth and life of the Virgin Mary. Of course Her life would also have the most intense suffering that any woman has even known. But at the heart of Her life is something wonderfully "playful": the "playful game" of the exchange of love between the Immaculate Virgin and God Himself. Surely so many moments in Mary's childhood, and then later at Nazareth with Jesus, were full of simple exchanges of love--full of the spontaneity and creativity of those who are deeply in love.

In the spiritual life, growth consists in becoming more and more like a child. So, in one sense, growth in our spiritual life is the opposite of our physical growth. In our spiritual life--that is to say in our Christian life (which is all of our life!)--we are called to grow in virtue, responsibility, sacrifice, etc. And yet at the heart of all of that we are called to become ever smaller, ever more like little children.

There are wonderful graces available in contemplating the tiny Virgin Mary, held in St. Anne's arms, sleeping Her first sleep, then crawling, walking, saying Her first words, playing, praying, so many beautiful moments that God wants to use to draw us to follow in Her footsteps, to become more and more like little children.

May Jesus grant us that grace in this octave in honor of His Mother.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari

Chanting the Divine Office

Photo taken as I chanted Lauds in the monastery garden.

I lowered the book so you'd have an "unfunny" view of the background.

The path I walk back and forth, in nice weather, to chant the office.

Dear Family and Friends,

Among the many blessings of this past week--one of which was beautiful weather!--I wanted to share with you two in particular.

One is this week's First Friday Mass. Every month I offer the Holy Sacrifice on the first Friday for all of my benefactors--this includes all of you who are donating financially to make my life, apostolate, and studies, possible, as well as all of you who are making my priestly life and apostolate, and studies possible, and hopefully fruitful! by your prayers and sacrifices. Thank you for all that you are doing for me as a priest. As promised, I offer each First Friday's Mass as a way of saying thank you. But for me it is also a particular joy. So many of you are those I have known for years as a priest, and I have so very much to be thankful for in terms of your faith and love for the Lord, your sense of humor, your courage, and so many other blessings. So on the First Friday it is a real joy to think of you and your families, to bring you in Our Lady's Heart to the foot of Calvary, to ask Jesus to pour out His blessings upon you, and to remember you with gratitude.

Another blessing of this week was to begin once again to chant the Divine Office in the monastic form. The past 18 months were quite intense, and so I had largely backed off from this, not feeling I had the energy. However, the past 10 days I began to chant again Lauds, Terce, Sext, None, and Vespers. It has been really wonderful to dive into those melodies again! I remember reading that at the monastery of Gethsemane, when the monks abandoned the Gregorian chant in the 60's (or 70's) to chant instead in English, their health declined noticeably. I believe it. There is a genius in the different melodies--in fact in the different "modes"--of the psalms. More than genius, there is something particularly holy and inspired. They bring out something wonderful in the human heart and lift it up to God. In some ways I find that the melodies help the heart to speak to God even more than the words of the psalms.

My chanting is rather rusty and it will take me a while to relearn each of the modes, as well as the antiphons (some of which I never learned in the first place), but it is a joyful work. The monastic office definitely takes longer than the diocesan one, but in the end I think the benefits will be well worth it. So, you see in the above photos the little area I like to chant in when the weather is nice.

Nice weather is not always here, so much of the time I will be chanting in the small chapel in the presbytery that the sisters are kindly preparing. Hopefully it will be completed in a few weeks and I can send you a photo.

Oh, and this is the cover story of the UK's major Catholic weekly magazine. I have to agree! http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/issues/september-1st-2017/the-kids-are-old-rite/

I wish you all a very blessed Sunday. May Jesus and Mary watch over you and guide you.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari

Long-Term Projects here in the Diocese

View of neighboring bell-tower from this past Tuesday evening, as I sat on a bench in Lanherne's garden.

View of sky same evening.

View of our newly trimmed hedge, thanks to some generous volunteers!

Dear Friends and Family,

This past week had a number of blessings--among them Sacramental preparation: resuming the weekly Wednesday evening Catechism course to two 6 year-olds preparing for first Confession and First Holy Communion, and a Tuesday evening meeting with a young couple expecting the birth of their first child. The first two photos above were taken while sitting on a bench waiting for them. Very much looking forward to the Baptism of another little baby!

This week I wanted to complete the last light of the key-responsibility chart, for my work as a missionary here in England, that I started showing you a few weeks ago.

Lanherne Project: Vision Lead

This assignment is proof that God has a sense of humor. After more than 10 years of meetings involving planning or construction at the Mission, I had told God I would prefer to avoid that in the future. And then He sent me... to a monastery that is just beginning a major renovation project! Lanherne is a "grade 1 listed building" in England--in other words, it has the highest possible designation by the English government as a building needing to be preserved. This sounds nice, except that it means that you have to be extremely careful, and get approval from committees, for any work you do. Thankfully, we have a great project director with expertise in historic buildings, as well as an excellent board that is overseeing the project.

Lanherne is considered a historical treasure because 1) it was the Arundell family home, a very important Catholic family who remained Catholic, and suffered greatly for it, all during the post-Reformation persecution. It is said the the tabernacle lamp (in the family chapel) has always been kept burning since before the Reformation, 2) Saint Cuthbert Mayne celebrated Mass here shortly before being martyred, and 3) It has been a cloister monastery the past 223 years.

Concretely, I have been charged with working with the board, the project director, architects, etc., as well as meet with potential donors, to try to implement what will likely be a $3.5 million project. I'm scheduled to give a presentation to the diocesan trustees in October.

Canonical Work for Diocese

I've been asked to assist with some multi-year projects. As with much legal work, this is not really for public consumption, so I'll leave it at that.

Studies: J.C.D./PhD and J.D.

Last year was the "year of exams"--both in canon law and civil law. Thanks in part to your prayers, I passed those! From here on out the work will be steady, but should be significantly less pressure. In canon law my dissertation will focus on an aspect of the papal magisterium. My goal, by the end of this semester, is to have the initial research complete and to present a 50 page summary of the proposed dissertation to the faculty, who then meet with me to review and critique the project. Once I pass that step, then it is just reading and writing for the next 2 years or so. I am looking forward to it. It will be a chance to dig into a particular area that is interesting to me, and has real-life practical applications what the Church is living today. For example, one aspect of my research this Fall will be to read all of the key writings of St. Robert Bellarmine on the topic of the papal office and magisterium, and to write a summary of his thought.

For the J.D. this year will be civil procedure, criminal procedure, and constitutional law (along with some other course I can't remember). All three should be interesting. My impression is that they really tried to weed us out in the first year. From here on out it will now doubt still have its challenges, but I should be able to settle into a regular rhythm of study. The topics should genuinely be interesting, particularly given the discussions in the U.S. now involving religious liberty, which touch directly on constitutional law, criminal procedure, and civil procedure.

Well, with that and the previous posts, you hopefully have an idea of the main 9 projects I've been charged with for this coming year and beyond. There are other aspects as well, such as assisting a pro-life group with their annual retreat, etc. But these 9 are the main areas that it seems God has asked me to focus on for life here as a missionary. So, I'll sign off now and try to make some progress on the bibliography for my dissertation, before heading out for a jog and then making a Holy Hour.

God has been very good to me.

May Jesus and Mary watch over you and guide you.

In Cordibus Iesu et Mariae,
Fr. Pillari